Friday, July 23, 2010

Top 11 Most Disgusting Foods Evar!

I did a random search for the nastiest foods in the world, and what I found made me want to vomit. Now I will share that warm, fuzzy feeling with you by counting down the worst 11 that I found, because I'm an evil, soulless bastard sent from the bowels of hell. Why 11? Because like the Nostalgia Critic, I like to go one step beyond.....annoying. Behold- the nastiest foods EVAR! Be sure to have your barfbags ready.

11- Canned Chicken

 A whole chicken in a can, salty as hell and covered in slime. Uh... yummeh? Maybe in the unfortunate event of a nuclear fallout, I would consider it, but only after we ran out of spam.

10- Freeze Dried Anchovies
Don't ever trust Asians when they tell you something tastes good. I fell for this once when a woman offered me a sesame seed-covered freeze dried anchovy, saying her  7 year old son loves them so they have to be good. To this day, it remains, hands down the absolute most disgusting thing I've ever put into my mouth. And believe me, considering all the questionable things that have passed these lips, that's saying a lot. Even if you like anchovies on pizza, don't be fooled!

9- Hairless Rat
Seriously, people in Taiwan eat hairless rats. They can say anything they want about our food being nasty, but we don't make a practice of eating hairless rats!!! Granted, these are farm-fed rats, not filthy NYC sewer rats, but still. One time when I was homeless, I tried eating a bite of filthy NYC sewer rat. It was just a half a bite out of sheer starvation and morbid curiosity, but it tasted disgusting. Tough, stringy and it was as if it was marinated in urine. Still not as bad as the anchovy, but it came in a very close second.

8- Seahorse on a Stick
This just pisses me off. I like seahorses, I think they're really awesome looking. If I could keep up with the saltwater maintenance, I'd have a tank full of them to gawk at. Could I eat them deep fried on a stick? Well, yeah, if I was hungry enough, but I sure as shit wouldn't pay money for it. Aren't they endangered or something? Somebody needs to invent some animal rights laws in China.

7- Pig Ears
They sell this dish in Spain for people to consume. It's slimy and wiggly like undercooked bacon. I watched one of the hosts of Globetrekker eat this and she nearly threw it up. You know we feed these to dogs, right?

6- Brrraaaaaiiiiinnnnnssss.....
This is Beaucoup, or calf brains, served by the French. A lot of people eat brains, actually, which is downright grotesque. They're considered a delicacy by many cultures. People eat the brains of nearly everything: pigs, squirrels, horses, cattle, monkeys, chickens, goats and whatever else I can't think of. I don't know why the fuck anyone would eat this. We're not zombies! Besides contracting prion disease and chronic wasting disease, the brain of any animal is 60% fat and a single serving contains a whopping 3,500 mg of cholesterol. That's 1170% of the daily recommended USDA allowance. I'm sorry but I don't give a shit how good it might taste, to me, consuming all that just isn't worth the risk.

5- Pickled Lizard in a Jar
Just.....ew. The Vietnamese will eat anything.

4- Any Penis Will Do.
This is serious. In China, they serve penises. All kinds of them. Dog, donkey, sheep, horse, ox, seal, snake (they have two each, did you know that?) and others too. They're really proud of their cock dishes and claim they have all kinds of medicinal properties. They're served boiled, pickled, braised, fried, sautéed, even raw. I am quite literally sick to my stomach with empathy right now. I found pictures of what look to be human penises too but I can't seem to find any articles on them. Not even on wikipedia. Oh well, I guess you'll have to be left to simmer in your own horrendous, vivid imagination.

Mwahahaha...

3- Balut: Eggs with Legs

A balut is a fertilized duck (or chicken) egg with a nearly-developed embryo inside that is boiled and eaten in the shell. It's mainly served by street vendors in the Philippines as a high protein snack that is believed to act as an aphrodisiac.  This to me is like eating an aborted fetus. Not only is it disgusting to eat, or even just to look at, but the mere concept of viewing it as a food source is morally bankrupt.

2- Silkworm Larvae
Augh!!!! This is so disgusting, I can't stand it. Yes, Korean people eat silkworm moth babies. On a stick, in a can, deep fried over noodles or rice, they suck these down like gummi worms. They look like a stomach-churning cross between maggots and some kind of mucous-covered beetle, and I can't imagine anyone looking at that and saying to themselves, "yummy, time for lunch!". I found this description on associatedcontent.com: "Crunchy, yet also strangely soft and wet, with enough worm-like wriggle to make mealtime about the farthest thing away from anyone's mind." *Shudders*

..............

I must warn you, this last one is going to turn the stomach of most westerners. There's been a lot of outrage and controversy about it and believe me when I say I didn't want to post this, but by far this outdoes any fried bat or bee larvae dish I could find. This is most definitely the most disgusting and mortifying dish in all the world, at least to me. Please don't flame me for posting this, but this is my food blog and I have to be honest.

So if you truly don't want to be horrified, click your back button now.

Don't say I didn't warn your dumb ass.

...

Without further adieu, I present to you the number 1 grossest food evar:

**Drumroll**

South Korean Dog/Cat

Yes, Koreans eat dogs and cats. They're like chickens and pigs over there. In fact, South Korea has the only legal dog and cat slaughterhouses in the world.




This was a huge issue while I was really heavily immersed into animal rights where we were campaigning and letter-writing and holding protests for their imported products but it never did any good. It's not just Westerners who are protesting it either.


Isn't that the cutest thing? I could just eat her up.

*Snorts* Okay, bad joke.

Without getting too political here, I'm just going to say that this goes beyond all things horrible. Eating the flesh of dogs and cats sickens my soul and makes me ashamed to be human. I'm just really glad I'm not alone in feeling this way.


I'm not saying that eating chicken, cow, bison, pig or sheep is too much better. Believe me, I've tried many times to be a vegetarian. But because of my anemia, it never works out for very long. Besides, you'll never catch me sleeping in bed next to a sheep, or walking a chicken. I'm just saying.


Noam Lazarus style. You gotta hand it to PETA, they don't hold protests often, but when they do, it's epic.

Anyway, hope you enjoyed and don't get nightmares tonight. Have fun not being hungry at lunchtime!!

LOL

p.s. godhatesfags.com is a WHOLE other rant post that will probably be coming soon.

8 comments:

  1. asians r so disgusting and heartless

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    1. Asians have just had hard times. Eating disgusting stuff correlates with poverty -usually due to warfare, which is usually due to disgusting white people leeching on asians' resources.

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  2. Proud vegetarian since 1998. I have known about the dogs and cats in Korea as well as other places. This is just revolting and an atrocity. They torture dogs and cats and by doing so is supposed to make the meat taste better. They boil cats alive. Check out these sites: http://itstheirdestiny.2kat.net/ and http://www.koreananimals.org

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  3. asians are not disgusting and heartless. the people who eat dogs and cats are the ones who're heartless. when you say asia, you mean all of asia. and guess what? asia's not only vietnam and china.

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  4. Actually if you say Asian are disgusting cus we eat dog or cat then what about cow lol? That's just being racist to animals. And just to remind you Americans don't even treat their cows or chicken properly. Cows are forced to eat cow brains which screws up their intestines and gives everyone e coli. The chickens are caged up so much that they have their beaks cut off since they peck at each other. I mean come on they made so many documentrys on this in America, but Americans just want to think their perfect and make us Asians look disgusting. In truth your have never ever heard of any organization trying to help these cows or chickens. But on asia you see plenty of them working hard to fix it. In fact the plants in America are filled with stuff that I do t even want to say, even the corn has e coli in it. My belief is every living thing should be treated equally, so unless your a vegetarian you don't have the right to say we're disgusting. And even if your a vegetarian your still killing the plant. And you know what America's biggest organization treat their own kind like poo, you can list a whole bunch of these company's like nikes, apple ( or it use to be), Hershey's, Godiva , DISNEY ( yea that's right Disney and guess what they use child labor). They all treat Asians like poo they make them work 12 hours a day paying them like 80 cent at the end of the day and most of them are still are going on today.

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  5. Meeperz, I agree with you 100%. I watch documentaries and stuff about GMO corn and all the gross shit US industries put in our grub. It really is disgusting. This post wasn't meant as a knock against asian countries, I was just going for shock value here. And yeah, I link those informational youtube vids to my friends all the time and nobody cares. So point goes to you. Big businesses treat everybody like poo, not just asians. They aren't even human beings, just another resource to be used up like anything else. But let's not get me onto that particular soapbox.
    And Bola, you're lucky I'm against censorship.

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  6. I agree that it seems horrible to eat dog cat or horse because they are more intelligent and seem to have much more capacity to love people. But what about all the other animals? Animals in some countries are all viewed the same. Their animals. Now I wish to bring up another subject. How can people become so hung up on saving animals, when in our own country BABIES ARE BEING SLAUGHTERED DAILY BY ABORTION. I mean come on. How can people be so blind to the truth? Do a little research in the right places and you will learn how evil abortion really is. It's time we stand up for human life and after all babies are safe we can worry about other species.

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