As per nymphie's request (whoops, she's known as wench now, but whatever) I've been asked to write an essay explaining proper portions to her because she honestly had no idea. I admit, I toiled over it a bit but eventually came up with this:
My old friend Dylan used to swear that the weed he chronically smoked made him into a genius. We were in his room drawing one day while he was high; he turned to me with eyes wide as saucers and said, "You know what? Fat people are fat because they eat too much."
That may seem like a ridiculous statement to you, but it really is pure genius; profound in it's simplicity. He had no idea how right he was.
Weight management depends on the energy balance equation; the amount of energy you put into your body versus the amount of energy you expend, i.e. food calories vs enough activity to burn those calories off. Your body only needs a certain amount of calories to feel satisfied, but the food industry in both the US and the UK has conspired to make us eat loads more than we need. When you go out to a restaurant, the large portions they serve you encourages you to eat a lot more than necessary, and we do it without realizing it. So when we go home, our brains will be tricked into thinking it needs just as much food to feel full the at next meal. It's not just portion size that's sabatoguing you, it's calorie density as well. That means foods with more calories per bite like pasta, red meats, mayonaise, butter, milk and gateau will make you gain more weight with every bite, and it will take longer for your body to digest it.
Foods that are high in water and low in fat, such as fruits, vegetables, soup, lean meat/poultry, and low-fat dairy products will fill you up without consuming too many calories in the process. You can eat more of it, feel satisfied and your body will be able to burn it off quicker. If you're unsure of which foods are which, I've included a handy look-up guide for your convenience.
At this point, I feel obligated to mention that I'm typing this while eating chocolate chip cookies. I've had very little sleep this week, and the sugar fix will keep me from passing out cold at my desk. This is why the phrase, "do as I say, not as I do" was invented. Merciful Gods and loyal readers, forgive my hipocracy.
Anyway... the next step is to find out exactly how many calories your body needs. There's a great website that explains how to figure it out in detail, but I'll give you the cliff's notes. Multiply your current body weight by ten and add your body weight again once for women and twice for men. This is probably how Weight Watchers got the idea for their point method. The only problem with this is that the answer you come up with will only help you maintain your current weight, not help you lose it. Perhaps what should be done is rather than use your actual body weight for the equation, you should use your goal weight. Or maybe do your actual weight first, then your goal weight once you hit your plateau. There are plenty of "free" foods Weight Watchers allows that will help satisfy you between meals and won't use any points you have left.
As for the actual portion size you should be having, I found an amazing website that not just tells you, but SHOWS you in comparison to something else. It's the WebMD Portion Size Webtool and if you're changing your eating habits, it's an absolute necessity for your favorites list. Simply click on the category of food you want to see and then click on the specific food. It also has printable pdf files for your fridge and wallet in case you can't get to a computer. Genius!! They must have been smoking some of Dylan's weed.
Other sites you may be interested in is a list of 1 point snacks and zero point snacks from Weight Watchers. This will help even if you're not on Weight Watchers.
Diet Q & Adietitian Juliette Kellow answers an assortment of diet and nutrition questions and gives her advice for dieting and healthy weight loss.
The Food Network's healthy eating guide, with tons of tasty, low-fat recipes for you to try. And when you're done with that, have some more healthy recipes, courtesy of The Mayo Clinic.
This is a tool I found to help you figure out the rate at which your body burns off calories. It's kinda cool but it depressed the crap out of me. lol
Nutrition Data is an awesome site. It gives you the lowdown on food nutrition, breaks down and analyzes recipes, the nutrition label, and the menu of most fast food joints. It even gives you a glossary of common terms you'll find on food labels.
And finally, I found a guide that lists some great weight loss webtools found on the net that could further help you.
Remember that the key to losing weight is to not think of yourself as simply on a diet. According to Tufts-New England Medical Center, 21% of dieters drop out in the first 2 months, 45% quit by the end of the year, and 90-95% of people who lose weight with diet gain most of the weight back within 3 to 5 years. Think of it more as a complete lifestyle 180. Make it a practice, a habit. It's also important to remember to watch your fat intake more than your caloric intake. If you have extra calories, you can always burn it off. If you restrict your caloric intake too much, your metabolism slows down, even with exercise. That could mean bad news for your weight loss progress. Many foods are alright in moderation. What got me to understand healthy portions better is eating Lean Cuisine meals. They are high in sodium, but the amount of food they give you is the ideal recommended amount. Knowing what a portion this size looks like helps me control how much I eat in every day situations.
Whatever helps, right? I hope you've found some things in this article helpful, and I wish you success in your new fitter, healthier way of life.
Friday, July 30, 2010
La Bête Noir- The Black Beast
The Perfect Flourless Cake
This silky, luscious, sinful chocolate cake is officially on my list of projects to tackle. Of course, tweekings will be made, but for the most part, I plan on sticking to the recipe. It looks really difficult to do, which I guess is part of the appeal. For those who know me, I can take or leave milk chocolate, but bittersweet chocolate you can lure me into hell with. Besides gathering all the components, I'm left with the task of choosing the perfect method. There is a basic formula most of the recipes follow with few variations. But for those who've baked before, small variations can make a huge difference. Hell, your mood and even the weather can effect your cake. So for best results, wait for a calm breeze and a big smile.
Then cross your fingers and hope I don't set my house on fire.
Take a look at these and tell me what you think. Would you ever attempt something like this?
The Canadian Foodie's version.
My grouprecipes friend, LunaSea's version.
Proof Of The Pudding Dana's Version, an homage to Kate Zuckerman.
This silky, luscious, sinful chocolate cake is officially on my list of projects to tackle. Of course, tweekings will be made, but for the most part, I plan on sticking to the recipe. It looks really difficult to do, which I guess is part of the appeal. For those who know me, I can take or leave milk chocolate, but bittersweet chocolate you can lure me into hell with. Besides gathering all the components, I'm left with the task of choosing the perfect method. There is a basic formula most of the recipes follow with few variations. But for those who've baked before, small variations can make a huge difference. Hell, your mood and even the weather can effect your cake. So for best results, wait for a calm breeze and a big smile.
Then cross your fingers and hope I don't set my house on fire.
Take a look at these and tell me what you think. Would you ever attempt something like this?
The Canadian Foodie's version.
My grouprecipes friend, LunaSea's version.
Proof Of The Pudding Dana's Version, an homage to Kate Zuckerman.
Keni's Caramelized Onion And Asparagus Orzotto
Trust me when I say that this is probably the best thing I've made all year. Yes, even better than the shrimp packets. Keni from grouprecipes and I have been swapping dishes and I made this tonight. I won't lie, Tammy is a picky eater and I was worried she wouldn't eat it. She's never had orzo before and wouldn't believe me that it's like if pasta and rice had a love child and God came down, bopped it on the head and went, "go forth now, my child, and be fucking delicious."
Pay no attention to the date, it's wrong. Yeah, so orzo is really yummy but expensive as hell. I paid $10 for this container. This recipe is for a sort of risotto but without all the babysitting that risotto demands. It creates a rich, creamy sauce that's going to blow your mind. The following is Keni's recipe exactly how it appears on her page. I'll go into how I bastardized it later. Because... we all know I can never leave well enough alone. =)
Ingredients
1lb orzo
2 cups chicken stock
1/2 stick butter
1 medium onion, diced
1lb fresh asparagus, trimmed and cut into 1 inch pieces
1 cup heavy cream
1/2-3/4 cup fresh Parmesan, grated
1/2 lemon (for it's zest)
sea or kosher salt and fresh ground pepper
1lb orzo
2 cups chicken stock
1/2 stick butter
1 medium onion, diced
1lb fresh asparagus, trimmed and cut into 1 inch pieces
1 cup heavy cream
1/2-3/4 cup fresh Parmesan, grated
1/2 lemon (for it's zest)
sea or kosher salt and fresh ground pepper
______
Method
Prepare orzo per box directions, but using chicken stock for 2 cups of the water
In large skillet (I use cast iron, of course ;), saute asparagus and onions in butter.
Cook until asparagus is al dente and onion begins to caramelize.
Add salt and pepper and cream, and continue to simmer to thicken
When orzo is done, drain, but reserve the liquid.
Add orzo and 3/4-1 cup of the pasta liquid to veggies and cream.
Add lemon zest and Parmesan cheese, stir, and heat through.
Prepare orzo per box directions, but using chicken stock for 2 cups of the water
In large skillet (I use cast iron, of course ;), saute asparagus and onions in butter.
Cook until asparagus is al dente and onion begins to caramelize.
Add salt and pepper and cream, and continue to simmer to thicken
When orzo is done, drain, but reserve the liquid.
Add orzo and 3/4-1 cup of the pasta liquid to veggies and cream.
Add lemon zest and Parmesan cheese, stir, and heat through.
My version was a bit different, as you can see from the top picture. I left the asparagus whole because I really like chewing on it. I have no idea why, I just do. Not only that, but I like to chop off the very tips that are white, chalky and tough, then peel the ends so that they cook as even and tender as the tips in the same amount of time. It takes a little longer to prepare but it's more than worth it. As always, I eyed everything. I'm not sure if I used the right amount of anything, and I even got some of it wrong on purpose. I'm not huge into grated parmesan, so I put only a teeny little bit into the sauce and some on top of Tammy's plate because she likes it. I not only added the lemon zest, but squeezed a bunch of the juice into it as well. The dish was actually better for it. In fact, I added more juice onto mine at the table. ^ _ ^
Oh, and I don't have any cast iron pots. Not sure if this makes a difference in taste or not.
The verdict was that Tammy gave this dish a 5 out of 5. She liked it so much, she went back for seconds. She would've had thirds, but she's lactose intolerant and this does contain heavy cream. Besides, she had a bunch of really awesome chicken breast nuggets coated with panko bread crumbs to go with it. I'll probably include that recipe later on.
In the meantime, you should seriously try this recipe. It's a great way to start out if you're intimidated by risotto, and it really does taste fantastic. So go forth, my children, and make something fucking delicious!!! lol
Cindy's Slammin Sweet & Sour Sauce
My friend cindy and I had a short YIM conversation today and what, of all things did we discuss? Food...of course. Specifically a great idea for a sauce that involved chili sauce and grape jelly. Well, I just happened to have steaks defrosted, so I gave it a shot with what I had in the house.
Yeah, as you can imagine, my selection was a bit limited. Tams and I went to the store specifically looking for chili sauce but we couldn't find it. So what I did was mix the franks red hot with the seedless raspberry jam. But it was way too hot and honestly, quite gross. Even adding a bit of maraschino cherry liquid didn't help it, the franks just made it unbearable to me. So I added the only thing I could think of to cut down the heat.
If you've never tried chinese 5 spice powder, I would definitely suggest you do so. It just makes everything so balanced and aromatic, if you ask me, this is what tied the sauce together more than anything else.
Yeah, as you can imagine, my selection was a bit limited. Tams and I went to the store specifically looking for chili sauce but we couldn't find it. So what I did was mix the franks red hot with the seedless raspberry jam. But it was way too hot and honestly, quite gross. Even adding a bit of maraschino cherry liquid didn't help it, the franks just made it unbearable to me. So I added the only thing I could think of to cut down the heat.
If you've never tried chinese 5 spice powder, I would definitely suggest you do so. It just makes everything so balanced and aromatic, if you ask me, this is what tied the sauce together more than anything else.
It ended up really thin so I heated it up and added some corn starch. Pay no attention to how dirty my stove is. (Or blame Tammy lol)
On top of the sauce, I added some garlic powder and dried parsley, which is the green you see there. I also sprinkled some onion on top of it for shits and giggles. Popped that sucker into the preheated 375F oven and 25 minutes later, dinner was served!
Huzzah! These were so good. I served these with a cauliflower dish I found on grouprecipes,
This is what Ttaaccoo calls Low Carb Bakers Wifes Cauliflower and Potatoes. Check it out, try it and let me (or her) know what you think! But above all, you need to try cindy's sauce on something. This completely owned. At first when I told Tammy about this she was like "eew" but she gobbled that shit up like I hadn't fed her in weeks. lol Enjoy this as much as we did!!
Chicken? Don't Panic.
Most people see raw chicken and freak out because they hear all the crap the media spews about salmonella poisoning. I'm here to tell you RELAX because properly cleaning and preparing raw meat is really easy, as long as you clean it well and cook it until it's done. The first rule of preparing raw chicken is that we always wash it very well. Why? Because chickens are kept in not-so-sanitary conditions and unless you're eating Poulet de Bresse or even the American equivalent, Blue Foot Chicken, it's most likely going to make you sick as a dog if you don't clean it up and cook it properly. Hell, I'd even wash the shit out of Poulet de Bresse just because I can. This is not meant to discourage you, because cleaning and cooking it isn't as difficult as you may think.
Before we even get to the raw meat, let's talking about cleaning.
This is a complete sin, but not many Americans wash their hands properly. I see it when I'm in the men's room and these dudes just go in, do their business and rush out again without even glancing towards the sink. It's one of the main reasons people get sick at restaurants. You travel the subway to your favorite restaurant, put your hands on the poles, touch the menus, your silverware, and don't clean up before your burger comes. Then what happens? You get that splatter of ketchup on those same filthy hands which you make sure to greedily lap up. Then later when you're on the bowl for 40 minutes because your body is trying to flood out the toxic bacteria, you blame the food. (And that's if you're lucky- people can get Hepatitis from not washing after touching those poles!)
When we're kids, our mothers teach us to always wash up before mealtime. Why do most of us get out of this practice? Did you know that the Health Department recommends you wash your hands with soap for at least 30 seconds before washing it off? Not just your palms either, folks. Bacteria hides everywhere: under your nails, between your fingers, and on the backs of hands too where most people neglect to wash.
Just like you wash your hands, you should scrub your chicken. Make sure you leave the water cool, no more than 70 degrees F or it will cook. If you're making a whole chicken, make sure to get in the crevices, under the limbs, between the meat and skin, and into the middle. Remove the giblets sack before cooking, otherwise you will have a complete disaster. What are the giblets, you ask?
All the organs you don't really want to eat are usually found in a little plastic pouch stuffed inside a whole chicken. Some people deep fry these and serve them to their families, but um, *gags* no thanks. As much as I hate wasting food, I toss these away without remorse. I've eaten the neck before but it's full of bones and has virtually no meat on it, so unless it's still attached, don't bother cooking it.
As for the skin, I like to take the skin off when I make chicken parts, and even go so far as to trim the excess fat off because it makes the meat leaner. On whole chickens however, I use the skin as a flavor seal because I put herbal rubs between the flesh and skin. It's a neat trick I learned a long time ago and I will share a really good recipe with you today.
I was originally going to make nymphie's BBQ recipe for the chicken but Tammy gave me a hard time about it so I made an herb and butter rub instead.
Most people are intimidated by whole chickens, thinking they'll take too much work, too much time to cook and be too much of a hassle... but I find whole chickens easier to make, especially if it's for a large group of people. You just can't be afraid to get your hands a bit dirty. =D
I'm not sure of the exact measurements of the rub, but I used dried basil, parsley, salt, pepper, onion, garlic and chili powder with about 8-10 cloves of garlic, then put 2 generous Tablespoons of non-hydrogenated margarine into the mix and pulsed it with a food processor. One of the many tricks I learned to getting my meat, starch and veggies all done at once is putting it right in with the chicken. Underneath that magnificent bird is 1 1/2 sliced yellow onions, 6 potatoes, peeled and cut, and 5 chopped celery stalks. Whatever rub you have leftover from smothering your bird with goes over the veggies. I even sprinkled a bit of paprika over the chicken itself to help give it color. What will happen is that as the bird cooks, the chicken fat and melting rub will flavor the veggies, and visa-versa. It may be a bit of work to get everything together, but once it's done, you cover it with tin foil and pop it into a preheated 350F oven and forget about it for two hours.
Then all you do is take it out, remove the tin foil and pop it back in for another 30-40 minutes, and you have this beauty for your family to feast upon.
The general rule with roasts and whole poultry is that you cook it for 30 minutes for every pound it weighs. Unless you're braising the meat, making a Pernil, or a sous vide, two and a half hours will be enough to thoroughly cook most anything. The meat will be tender, flavorful and falling right off the bone. And the best part is that any trace of salmonella will be long gone. See? Nothing to be scared of.
I encourage anyone to work with roasts and whole birds, if just to conquer their fear of it. And I challenge you guys to post pictures of those birds here!!
Random Bored Food Survey
Okay, I admit I'm bored. But you'll enjoy doing this, I swear. Plus, it'll give members a better insight into your cooking style.
1. Are you happy with your current eating habits? If not, what would you change?
No, it would be great if I could get away with being a vegetarian, or at the very least, not be tempted by breads, mac n cheese or street vendor empanadas. Augh! Love them empanadas. Right now I eat okay. Lean Cuisines are filled with sodium, but I'm addicted to butternut squash ravioli.
2. Do you consider french fries (chips) to be a vegetable?
Um, ew. No way in hell. Actually, I don't like french fries too much, I usually end up dipping them in ranch dressing or BBQ sauce in order to eat them.
3. What's more "romantic", dining in, or eating out?
Dining in any day of the week. Cooking for your date is sexy, and dessert is pretty much in the bag.
4. If you were to be given a free cooking class, who would you prefer to be taught by: A gourmet celebrity chef, or an old world grandmother?
If I was a guest chef on Ciao Italia, I could have both. [=D
5. What do you prefer to cook with, butter or margarine?
Butter for savory dishes, margarine for baked goods. I know that sounds backwards, but I tried buttering a pan with actual butter once and the results were catastrophic.
6. Do you count calories?
Sometimes, yeah.
7. What would you consider your healthiest habit?
See No. 6. lol No, I'm kidding. I try to stretch and exercise every day, or at least several times a week.
8. Do you think pill vitamin supplements work?
No. I mean maybe they work while you're taking them, but it cripples your body if you stop.
9. What was the least expensive meal you've ever prepared?
I used to make a 90¢ sandwich every day for lunch because I didn't have money for much else. It was a 65¢ buttered roll from the gas station and a 25¢ bag of plain lays potato chips. You put the chips on the roll and it's actually not that bad. But if you want to get technical, while I was homeless, I prepared a ghetto type of tomato soup using free ketchup packets from McDonald's stirred with water and pepper in an empty coffee tin. It was gross and salty, but free.
10. Does food really taste better when it's prepared by someone else?
Many times, yes. But sometimes you think you could have done a better job.
11. Who do you think is better in the kitchen, men or women?
Most of America's most famous chefs are men. It could mean men are better, or it could mean women are under-appreciated. Women have been doing it far longer though, but most modern women in the US don't know how anymore. It seems to be a dying art form, which is tragic. Anywhere outside the US, women are kitchen masters though.
12. What do you think is an appropriate age to begin teaching your child how to cook?
Age has nothing to do with it; it's all about maturity level. If I had a kid, they'd be baking cakes by themselves at 6.
13. What's the most exotic food you've ever tried?
Alligator, or maybe Caribou, both at a Native American Pow-wow. The Alligator tasted like 4 day old chicken only tougher, and the Caribou was so diluted with fillers, I don't know what it was supposed to taste like.
14. What food do you think should they should take off the market forever, and why?
Foie Grais is downright amoral and should be illegal.
15. Would you ever send back a plate of food at a restaurant?
Not unless I want it to come back as Noms A La Big Giant Loogie.
Now it's your turn to answer these. If you have any questions to add, feel free.
1. Are you happy with your current eating habits? If not, what would you change?
No, it would be great if I could get away with being a vegetarian, or at the very least, not be tempted by breads, mac n cheese or street vendor empanadas. Augh! Love them empanadas. Right now I eat okay. Lean Cuisines are filled with sodium, but I'm addicted to butternut squash ravioli.
2. Do you consider french fries (chips) to be a vegetable?
Um, ew. No way in hell. Actually, I don't like french fries too much, I usually end up dipping them in ranch dressing or BBQ sauce in order to eat them.
3. What's more "romantic", dining in, or eating out?
Dining in any day of the week. Cooking for your date is sexy, and dessert is pretty much in the bag.
4. If you were to be given a free cooking class, who would you prefer to be taught by: A gourmet celebrity chef, or an old world grandmother?
If I was a guest chef on Ciao Italia, I could have both. [=D
5. What do you prefer to cook with, butter or margarine?
Butter for savory dishes, margarine for baked goods. I know that sounds backwards, but I tried buttering a pan with actual butter once and the results were catastrophic.
6. Do you count calories?
Sometimes, yeah.
7. What would you consider your healthiest habit?
See No. 6. lol No, I'm kidding. I try to stretch and exercise every day, or at least several times a week.
8. Do you think pill vitamin supplements work?
No. I mean maybe they work while you're taking them, but it cripples your body if you stop.
9. What was the least expensive meal you've ever prepared?
I used to make a 90¢ sandwich every day for lunch because I didn't have money for much else. It was a 65¢ buttered roll from the gas station and a 25¢ bag of plain lays potato chips. You put the chips on the roll and it's actually not that bad. But if you want to get technical, while I was homeless, I prepared a ghetto type of tomato soup using free ketchup packets from McDonald's stirred with water and pepper in an empty coffee tin. It was gross and salty, but free.
10. Does food really taste better when it's prepared by someone else?
Many times, yes. But sometimes you think you could have done a better job.
11. Who do you think is better in the kitchen, men or women?
Most of America's most famous chefs are men. It could mean men are better, or it could mean women are under-appreciated. Women have been doing it far longer though, but most modern women in the US don't know how anymore. It seems to be a dying art form, which is tragic. Anywhere outside the US, women are kitchen masters though.
12. What do you think is an appropriate age to begin teaching your child how to cook?
Age has nothing to do with it; it's all about maturity level. If I had a kid, they'd be baking cakes by themselves at 6.
13. What's the most exotic food you've ever tried?
Alligator, or maybe Caribou, both at a Native American Pow-wow. The Alligator tasted like 4 day old chicken only tougher, and the Caribou was so diluted with fillers, I don't know what it was supposed to taste like.
14. What food do you think should they should take off the market forever, and why?
Foie Grais is downright amoral and should be illegal.
15. Would you ever send back a plate of food at a restaurant?
Not unless I want it to come back as Noms A La Big Giant Loogie.
Now it's your turn to answer these. If you have any questions to add, feel free.
What's Your Guilty Pleasure?
We all have our vices, whether it be smoking, drinking, gambling or rubbing up against unsuspecting strangers on the bus, and due to pressing health and money issues (or court orders) we may have been forced to give them up. One thing that people have a harder time letting go of is their favorite foods. Yeah, it's terrible for you, it makes you fat and bloated, it costs a fortune or you simply fall back on it as a comfort food during stressful times.... but it's your guilty pleasure and you can't let it go.
Mine is Mac and Cheese. When I eat that stuff, it's tantamount to a woman sitting in the dark eating an entire pint of ice cream by herself, crying. It's my guilty pleasure, and all I want after I've pulled a double-shift is to have a giant bowl of this and about 10 days sleep.
So what's your culinary weakness? What do people have to pull you away from in the supermarket, that you dream about and crave when stressed?
p.s. I don't really rub up against people on the bus.
Mine is Mac and Cheese. When I eat that stuff, it's tantamount to a woman sitting in the dark eating an entire pint of ice cream by herself, crying. It's my guilty pleasure, and all I want after I've pulled a double-shift is to have a giant bowl of this and about 10 days sleep.
So what's your culinary weakness? What do people have to pull you away from in the supermarket, that you dream about and crave when stressed?
p.s. I don't really rub up against people on the bus.
Who Says There's No Such Thing As A Free Lunch?
You guys need to see this.
I found this page, and it rocks. It has recipes for all kinds of wild plants you'd find readily available in your backyard. One in particular stood out at me, were the Dandelion Fritters. My mother was so violently allergic to these, but when I was a kid I would pick them for her all the time because I loved them so much, and stupidly wanted her to have them all. I see them all the time now and they still remind me of her, so I think one day I'm going to go dandelion picking. Only in the batter will be something spicier, maybe curry, tarragon and chili powder...hmm, I'll have to experiment. The best part about this? The main dish is FREEEEEEEE! lol
If you try this, please let me know how they are.
__________________
I found this page, and it rocks. It has recipes for all kinds of wild plants you'd find readily available in your backyard. One in particular stood out at me, were the Dandelion Fritters. My mother was so violently allergic to these, but when I was a kid I would pick them for her all the time because I loved them so much, and stupidly wanted her to have them all. I see them all the time now and they still remind me of her, so I think one day I'm going to go dandelion picking. Only in the batter will be something spicier, maybe curry, tarragon and chili powder...hmm, I'll have to experiment. The best part about this? The main dish is FREEEEEEEE! lol
If you try this, please let me know how they are.
__________________
Also, I found this recipe for Lambsquarters from this site.
LAMBSQUARTERS & TOMATO SALAD
This delicious salad has unique taste and is only available in the
summer.
Blend well:
4 cups lambsquarters
2 cups cherry tomatoes, cut in half
½ bunch dill weed, chopped
1 lemon juiced
1 avocado, mashed
Add sea salt if desired
Serves: 2-3
From: www.rawfamily.com
______________________________________________________
Originally posted by nymph[GKL] May 9th on the Valley while it was still being hosted by Spruz:
Great post Mal. i have used Nasturtiums however its spelt lol, in a salad they taste really nice and have a peppery taste. Also make the garden look pretty although they can be invasive ...
LAMBSQUARTERS & TOMATO SALAD
This delicious salad has unique taste and is only available in the
summer.
Blend well:
4 cups lambsquarters
2 cups cherry tomatoes, cut in half
½ bunch dill weed, chopped
1 lemon juiced
1 avocado, mashed
Add sea salt if desired
Serves: 2-3
From: www.rawfamily.com
______________________________________________________
Originally posted by nymph[GKL] May 9th on the Valley while it was still being hosted by Spruz:
Great post Mal. i have used Nasturtiums however its spelt lol, in a salad they taste really nice and have a peppery taste. Also make the garden look pretty although they can be invasive ...
Friday, July 23, 2010
Top 11 Most Disgusting Foods Evar!
I did a random search for the nastiest foods in the world, and what I found made me want to vomit. Now I will share that warm, fuzzy feeling with you by counting down the worst 11 that I found, because I'm an evil, soulless bastard sent from the bowels of hell. Why 11? Because like the Nostalgia Critic, I like to go one step beyond.....annoying. Behold- the nastiest foods EVAR! Be sure to have your barfbags ready.
11- Canned Chicken
A whole chicken in a can, salty as hell and covered in slime. Uh... yummeh? Maybe in the unfortunate event of a nuclear fallout, I would consider it, but only after we ran out of spam.
10- Freeze Dried Anchovies
Don't ever trust Asians when they tell you something tastes good. I fell for this once when a woman offered me a sesame seed-covered freeze dried anchovy, saying her 7 year old son loves them so they have to be good. To this day, it remains, hands down the absolute most disgusting thing I've ever put into my mouth. And believe me, considering all the questionable things that have passed these lips, that's saying a lot. Even if you like anchovies on pizza, don't be fooled!
9- Hairless Rat
Seriously, people in Taiwan eat hairless rats. They can say anything they want about our food being nasty, but we don't make a practice of eating hairless rats!!! Granted, these are farm-fed rats, not filthy NYC sewer rats, but still. One time when I was homeless, I tried eating a bite of filthy NYC sewer rat. It was just a half a bite out of sheer starvation and morbid curiosity, but it tasted disgusting. Tough, stringy and it was as if it was marinated in urine. Still not as bad as the anchovy, but it came in a very close second.
8- Seahorse on a Stick
This just pisses me off. I like seahorses, I think they're really awesome looking. If I could keep up with the saltwater maintenance, I'd have a tank full of them to gawk at. Could I eat them deep fried on a stick? Well, yeah, if I was hungry enough, but I sure as shit wouldn't pay money for it. Aren't they endangered or something? Somebody needs to invent some animal rights laws in China.
7- Pig Ears
They sell this dish in Spain for people to consume. It's slimy and wiggly like undercooked bacon. I watched one of the hosts of Globetrekker eat this and she nearly threw it up. You know we feed these to dogs, right?
6- Brrraaaaaiiiiinnnnnssss.....
Isn't that the cutest thing? I could just eat her up.
11- Canned Chicken
A whole chicken in a can, salty as hell and covered in slime. Uh... yummeh? Maybe in the unfortunate event of a nuclear fallout, I would consider it, but only after we ran out of spam.
10- Freeze Dried Anchovies
Don't ever trust Asians when they tell you something tastes good. I fell for this once when a woman offered me a sesame seed-covered freeze dried anchovy, saying her 7 year old son loves them so they have to be good. To this day, it remains, hands down the absolute most disgusting thing I've ever put into my mouth. And believe me, considering all the questionable things that have passed these lips, that's saying a lot. Even if you like anchovies on pizza, don't be fooled!
9- Hairless Rat
Seriously, people in Taiwan eat hairless rats. They can say anything they want about our food being nasty, but we don't make a practice of eating hairless rats!!! Granted, these are farm-fed rats, not filthy NYC sewer rats, but still. One time when I was homeless, I tried eating a bite of filthy NYC sewer rat. It was just a half a bite out of sheer starvation and morbid curiosity, but it tasted disgusting. Tough, stringy and it was as if it was marinated in urine. Still not as bad as the anchovy, but it came in a very close second.
8- Seahorse on a Stick
This just pisses me off. I like seahorses, I think they're really awesome looking. If I could keep up with the saltwater maintenance, I'd have a tank full of them to gawk at. Could I eat them deep fried on a stick? Well, yeah, if I was hungry enough, but I sure as shit wouldn't pay money for it. Aren't they endangered or something? Somebody needs to invent some animal rights laws in China.
7- Pig Ears
They sell this dish in Spain for people to consume. It's slimy and wiggly like undercooked bacon. I watched one of the hosts of Globetrekker eat this and she nearly threw it up. You know we feed these to dogs, right?
6- Brrraaaaaiiiiinnnnnssss.....
This is Beaucoup, or calf brains, served by the French. A lot of people eat brains, actually, which is downright grotesque. They're considered a delicacy by many cultures. People eat the brains of nearly everything: pigs, squirrels, horses, cattle, monkeys, chickens, goats and whatever else I can't think of. I don't know why the fuck anyone would eat this. We're not zombies! Besides contracting prion disease and chronic wasting disease, the brain of any animal is 60% fat and a single serving contains a whopping 3,500 mg of cholesterol. That's 1170% of the daily recommended USDA allowance. I'm sorry but I don't give a shit how good it might taste, to me, consuming all that just isn't worth the risk.
5- Pickled Lizard in a Jar
Just.....ew. The Vietnamese will eat anything.
4- Any Penis Will Do.
This is serious. In China, they serve penises. All kinds of them. Dog, donkey, sheep, horse, ox, seal, snake (they have two each, did you know that?) and others too. They're really proud of their cock dishes and claim they have all kinds of medicinal properties. They're served boiled, pickled, braised, fried, sautéed, even raw. I am quite literally sick to my stomach with empathy right now. I found pictures of what look to be human penises too but I can't seem to find any articles on them. Not even on wikipedia. Oh well, I guess you'll have to be left to simmer in your own horrendous, vivid imagination.
Mwahahaha...
3- Balut: Eggs with Legs
A balut is a fertilized duck (or chicken) egg with a nearly-developed embryo inside that is boiled and eaten in the shell. It's mainly served by street vendors in the Philippines as a high protein snack that is believed to act as an aphrodisiac. This to me is like eating an aborted fetus. Not only is it disgusting to eat, or even just to look at, but the mere concept of viewing it as a food source is morally bankrupt.
2- Silkworm Larvae
Augh!!!! This is so disgusting, I can't stand it. Yes, Korean people eat silkworm moth babies. On a stick, in a can, deep fried over noodles or rice, they suck these down like gummi worms. They look like a stomach-churning cross between maggots and some kind of mucous-covered beetle, and I can't imagine anyone looking at that and saying to themselves, "yummy, time for lunch!". I found this description on associatedcontent.com: "Crunchy, yet also strangely soft and wet, with enough worm-like wriggle to make mealtime about the farthest thing away from anyone's mind." *Shudders*
..............
I must warn you, this last one is going to turn the stomach of most westerners. There's been a lot of outrage and controversy about it and believe me when I say I didn't want to post this, but by far this outdoes any fried bat or bee larvae dish I could find. This is most definitely the most disgusting and mortifying dish in all the world, at least to me. Please don't flame me for posting this, but this is my food blog and I have to be honest.
So if you truly don't want to be horrified, click your back button now.
Don't say I didn't warn your dumb ass.
...
Without further adieu, I present to you the number 1 grossest food evar:
**Drumroll**
South Korean Dog/Cat
Yes, Koreans eat dogs and cats. They're like chickens and pigs over there. In fact, South Korea has the only legal dog and cat slaughterhouses in the world.
This was a huge issue while I was really heavily immersed into animal rights where we were campaigning and letter-writing and holding protests for their imported products but it never did any good. It's not just Westerners who are protesting it either.
*Snorts* Okay, bad joke.
Without getting too political here, I'm just going to say that this goes beyond all things horrible. Eating the flesh of dogs and cats sickens my soul and makes me ashamed to be human. I'm just really glad I'm not alone in feeling this way.
I'm not saying that eating chicken, cow, bison, pig or sheep is too much better. Believe me, I've tried many times to be a vegetarian. But because of my anemia, it never works out for very long. Besides, you'll never catch me sleeping in bed next to a sheep, or walking a chicken. I'm just saying.
Noam Lazarus style. You gotta hand it to PETA, they don't hold protests often, but when they do, it's epic.
Anyway, hope you enjoyed and don't get nightmares tonight. Have fun not being hungry at lunchtime!!
LOL
p.s. godhatesfags.com is a WHOLE other rant post that will probably be coming soon.
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