tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-78789357659933210052024-03-13T07:43:56.404-07:00Regrettably EdibleFicticious Malicioushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10098357443416037810noreply@blogger.comBlogger69125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7878935765993321005.post-1960987564228037312012-08-31T03:14:00.001-07:002012-08-31T03:20:51.385-07:00An Excuse AND a Rant. I Spoil You People.I'm gonna be real with you folks right now. I haven't been online much lately. Not because I stopped caring about this blog-- on the contrary, I love writing for it and hope to do some guest blogging and building this site up in the coming months. But a lot of factors have been keeping me from contributing to this lately.<br />
<br />
The wifi connection at my job sucks balls. I have zero techy skills and can't figure out what's wrong with my network adapter. Why is there a big red X between the little bench icon and the globe icon?? I have no goddamn idea! I click on the big red X and after loading a bunch of crap, it tells me to fuck with a modem I have no physical access to. ARRGHHHFUCKAGGRESSION!! On top of this, I just got a new, smaller laptop and the range is garbage. Even though the signal is five full bars and coming from right nextdoor, the fucking planets have to be aligned, Cthulhu must to rise out of his sleepytime grave and somehow magically force this thing to read the signal. *Sigh* You think it sucks for you, coming back here to check periodically and finding no updates? Imagine being stuck at a desk all night with no internet, and only old episodes of farscape and an illegally pirated copy of fishdom to keep you company. They don't pay me enough for this shit.<br />
<br />
Another problem is health issues. Not sure if I've ever discussed this, but I have a condition known as epic spine fail. That's a technical term. I don't really like to talk about it, but it's sort of become an issue. Every 6 months I need to get epidurals in my lumbar spine just to continue working. In the months leading up to my next round of shots, the pain becomes increasingly bad and sitting for any length of time becomes unbearable. Cooking and food shopping get really difficult too, and I have nobody to help me. So when I'm in that state, keeping up with this site is damn near impossible. Usually once the shots are administered and the soreness goes away, I come back swinging for the fences.<br />
This time the shots didn't go so well. The procedure was very, very hard on me, and this shitty work chair might as well be made of spikes. (This was partially due to squeezing in several root injections at once, and a moron resident who fucked up my IV three times. I look like a goddamn heroin addict right now!!)<br />
<br />
Eh-hem. Anyway, I'm not telling you this to gain sympathy, I have no need for that. All I'm asking for is a little patience. I hope that in the next week or so I will be back to where I should be, so I can continue posting the insipid garbage you people don't even bother reading.<br />
<br />
Not yet, anyway. SOON!<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />Ficticious Malicioushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10098357443416037810noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7878935765993321005.post-25993666060446430942012-08-03T03:01:00.002-07:002012-08-03T03:06:13.928-07:00No Moo-Cow-Fuck-Milk in My Yogurt.<img border="0" height="295" src="http://healinganation.files.wordpress.com/2008/07/screen-capture.png" width="393" /><br />
<br />
<span style="font-size: medium;">I'm on an inexhaustible quest to find dairy-free products that don't taste disgusting. Not because I'm lactose intolerant, I simply dislike it. This dislike goes way beyond that, especially as I grew into an adult and learned about all the horrible shit we do to cows during the milking process, both industrially, chemically and morally. There is no reason human beings should be ingesting the milk of another mammal. It's unhealthy and biologically disruptive, especially since they began using all those growth hormones and feeding cows stuff that makes them sick. I can get just as much calcium from a myriad of other, more wholesome sources without all that unnecessary fat. Aside from all these factors, to me it simply tastes like ass. Ever since I was a kid, I've hated cow milk. I used to lie and tell my teachers I was allergic, because they gave it to us all the time. Back in the good old days, we used to have parties in school with cake and were rewarded with cookies and milk when we did something well. Nobody worried about anybody getting fat or what kind of nasty poison they were putting in the cookies, and Cookie Monster had not yet began preaching his "sometimes food" bullshit that destroyed the damn show.</span><br />
<br />
<span style="font-size: medium;">But I digress.</span><br />
<br />
<span style="font-size: medium;">Milk was in everything, and the FDA pushed it on us like the neighborhood street pharmacist. Milk is good for your bones! It does a body good! Have four glasses of this shit a day! Milk was nasty ass butt toast of shit and I hated it the most out of everything drinkable on the earth, second only to tang. In fact, it took me a really long time to get used to cheese and yogurt for this reason. I still only like a small number of cheeses, and yogurts have to be loaded down with fruit and/or chocolate for me to touch them. Yet, I acknowledge that yogurt has cultures and stuff for my stomach and is good for me, plus I have the tooth issue. Now that all these food allergies are becoming a huge deal, companies are finally wisening up and putting out products that are dairy free, gluten free and soy free. There is an enormous market for them, mainly because the poisons in our food have messed us up so badly. In some cases, from birth.</span><br />
<span style="font-size: medium;">------</span><br />
<br />
<span style="font-size: medium;"><img border="0" height="193" src="http://ezcouponing.com/cms/wp-content/uploads/2012/07/894700010045-chobani-nonfat-greek-yogurt-strawberry-1.jpg" width="250" /></span><br />
<span style="font-size: medium;">My first stray from regular moo cow yogurt came in the form of this strawberry greek yogurt mess. It was in the middle of my shift, 3 in the morning and I found myself starving, in 7-11 and unprepared for lunch. I saw this thing and decided to give it a try. I knew that it's made with sheep's milk, it's lower in fat and it's supposed to lack that typical yogurt bitterness. Well, the taste was weird. Weirder than the thick, sour cream-like consistency. I ate most of it on the way back to my building out of sheer hunger but my stomach voided before I reached the front door. Ugh, it was awful. My body said, "fuck no" and just evicted the stuff like an ungrateful squatter, all over the sidewalk. Never, never again. Just the thought of trying it a 2nd time to make sure makes me sick to my stomach.</span><br />
<span style="font-size: medium;">------</span><br />
<br />
<span style="font-size: medium;"><img border="0" height="282" src="http://www.instantvegan.com/wp-content/uploads/2008/09/coconut_yogurt_blueberry.jpg" width="510" /></span><br />
<span style="font-size: medium;">Alright, well my second dairy/gluten/soy free adventure in yogurt began when I laid eyes on this. It's yogurt made from coconut milk! At this point I had been drinking coconut milk for years and knew I loved the taste. I won't lie, my adventurous side went apeshit bonkers and I HAD to try it. Was it good? No. It wasn't as horribifuckus awful as the greek yogurt, but it took a lot of getting used to, and I barely finished it. As someone who loves anything coconut with a passion, this genuinely hurts me to say because I wanted to like it really badly. But I didn't. I even tired 3 different flavors just to be sure. Life is full of disappointments.</span><br />
<span style="font-size: medium;">------</span><br />
<br />
<span style="font-size: medium;"><img border="0" height="414" src="http://www.emmi.ch/images2/Swiss%20Yogurt%20Green%20Apple_New-1.png" width="318" /></span><br />
<span style="font-size: medium;">Next up to be experimented with was Swiss yogurt, which is still made with moo cow fuck milk, but lower fat, and without all those unnatural bovine hormones. I had the exact opposite experience as with the coconut-- I really liked this. Once I got over the initial strength of the foretaste, it became creamy, silky, dessert-ish and very flavorful. I was surprised. This is a rare treat because of how expensive and hard to find it is, but I would recommend this taste test to anyone. They even have some odd flavors you won't find much in other brands, like green apple, black cherry and apricot. Ideal for the adventure-seeking foodie. Kudos to emmi for making a moo cow fuck milk product I actually enjoy.</span><br />
<br />
<span style="font-size: medium;">----</span><br />
<br />
<span style="font-size: medium;"><img border="0" height="450" src="http://www.tamaraduker.com/wp-content/uploads/2012/05/08425326962.jpg" width="450" /></span><br />
<span style="font-size: medium;">Next up on the list is almond yogurt, which is not easy to find on a google image search because of how new it is. I tried the strawberry Almond Breeze brand just earlier tonight from Whole Foods with some fresh assorted berries. Much like the swiss yogurt, it had a strong foretaste, (it was more like being punched in the forehead with the taste of almond) but mixed with the fruit it was divine. Now that I think about it, I never tried the coconut yogurt with fruit. Maybe I'll try it a 4th time this way, just for good measure. But yeah, almond yogurt is pretty good if you have it the right way, and really REALLY like almond. You can even bake with the stuff. It's sweet, creamy, much healthier for you and without all those harmful chemicals you won't even miss.</span><br />
<br />
<span style="font-size: medium;">------</span><br />
<br />
<span style="font-size: medium;"><img border="0" height="281" src="http://www.stonyfield.com/sites/default/files/product-image/6oz_osoy_chocolate_sc-lighter.png" width="320" /></span><br />
<span style="font-size: medium;">Soy yogurt. Sadly, I have never tried this, mainly because I haven't gotten up the nerve yet. I think if I'm going to try any flavor, it will be the chocolate. I just can't imagine strawberry soy tasting any good, mainly because I'm not a terribly huge fan of soy. But, for the sake of adventurism and being thorough, I will have to try this next time I visit Trader Joe's.</span><br />
<span style="font-size: medium;">-------</span><br />
<br />
<span style="font-size: medium;"><img border="0" height="175" src="http://vitanetonline.com/images/products/3290.jpg" width="175" /></span><br />
<span style="font-size: medium;">Rice yogurt is another one I haven't tried, but only because I just found out about it while doing google searches for this post. When I find it and give it a test drive, I'll be sure to let you know if it's any less disgusting than rice pasta.</span><br />
<br />
<span style="font-size: medium;">---</span><br />
<br />
<br />
<span style="font-size: medium;">If you have any experiences with these types of yogurt and want to add something, wanna point out that some of my past recipes have used cheese, or just generally wanna tell me what a cow bigot I am, feel free to comment. I won't hold it against you, in fact I would probably agree. I'm a much thinner, happier person since I stopped ingesting moo cow fuck milk. You should try cutting it out, or at least down as well. You might find you enjoy some of this stuff better.</span><br />
<span style="font-size: medium;"><br />
</span><br />
<span style="font-size: medium;">Just so you know, the "Moo Cow Fuck Milk" phrase isn't mine. It belongs to the greatest comedian of our age. No arguments!! Lewis Black is the best!!! Fuck you and your Dane Cook.</span><br />
<span style="font-size: medium;"><img border="0" height="408" src="http://blindnotes.files.wordpress.com/2009/12/moo-cow-fuck-milk.png" width="400" /></span>Ficticious Malicioushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10098357443416037810noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7878935765993321005.post-9182049789009435162012-07-24T04:54:00.004-07:002012-07-24T05:18:45.213-07:00My First Smoothie. Ever<img height="400" src="http://lh6.ggpht.com/-RmFebqtYI_Y/UA6M8oWh2lI/AAAAAAAAAjk/08gJbTszwMU/2012-07-24%25252007.34.39.png" width="300" /><br />
<br />
So, this was my first crack at Smoothie making. I took organic peaches, some random orange slices, honey dew melon and cantalope from a ready-made fruit salad, added a plum, goya pear nectar, about 2 Tbsp of honey, lime juice, ice cubes and mango yogurt. It was okay. 3 out of 5 stars. Not bad but I think I didn't pulse it well enough cos there were all sorts of little hard to eat particles in there that made it less than ideal. But still, not gonna give up, this is only the beginning. I'm hoping to make a pina colada one next. =D<br />
<br />
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="http://i4.photobucket.com/albums/y130/callous_malice/sweetfruitcubes.png" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="300" src="http://i4.photobucket.com/albums/y130/callous_malice/sweetfruitcubes.png" width="400" /></a></div>There's no light in my kitchen. *Sigh* Anyway, I couldn't drink much of it so I put it into ice cube trays with toothpicks sticking out so my bf and I would have some cold sweets later on.Ficticious Malicioushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10098357443416037810noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7878935765993321005.post-19848800112750642852012-07-21T10:06:00.005-07:002012-07-21T21:31:49.513-07:00From Misfortune Comes Adventure<div style="background-color: black; border: 0px none; color: #a7b0b6; font-family: Verdana; font-size: 12px; margin-bottom: 1em; padding: 0px; text-align: left;"><br />
</div><br />
<img height="640" src="http://lh6.ggpht.com/-nwoSiyC41xw/UArhppItUaI/AAAAAAAAAjY/km63dfjkKf8/2012-07-21%25252012.15.21.png" width="480" /><br />
<br />
<br />
<div style="background-color: black; border: 0px none; color: #a7b0b6; font-family: Verdana; font-size: 12px; margin-bottom: 1em; padding: 0px; text-align: left;">Behold, my awesome new blender. It's called The Ninja, and it's a thousand Watts of stainless steel kickassness, perfect for all your every day smoothie making and dead body disposing needs.</div><div style="background-color: black; border: 0px none; color: #a7b0b6; font-family: Verdana; font-size: 12px; margin-bottom: 1em; padding: 0px; text-align: left;"><br />
</div><div style="background-color: black; border: 0px none; color: #a7b0b6; font-family: Verdana; font-size: 12px; margin-bottom: 1em; padding: 0px; text-align: left;">I tried to make it bigger but my resizing just made the picture grainy. Fuck it, you get the idea. This is what I get for using my shitty cameraphone.</div><div style="background-color: black; border: 0px none; color: #a7b0b6; font-family: Verdana; font-size: 12px; margin-bottom: 1em; padding: 0px; text-align: left;"><br />
</div><div style="background-color: black; border: 0px none; color: #a7b0b6; font-family: Verdana; font-size: 12px; margin-bottom: 1em; padding: 0px; text-align: left;">So anyway, yeah. I've been having a lot of issues with my tooth so eating solid food has become problematic. It's a long saga, but suffice it to say it took an entire month to have the crater in my tooth filled in and the process isn't over yet so I'll be sipping most of my meals through a straw for a while. Ergo, I needed a blender. I've never made my own smoothie before, nor do I know jack shit about smoothie making, so this is going to be a fucking adventure.</div><div style="background-color: black; border: 0px none; color: #a7b0b6; font-family: Verdana; font-size: 12px; margin-bottom: 1em; padding: 0px; text-align: left;"><br />
</div><div style="background-color: black; border: 0px none; color: #a7b0b6; font-family: Verdana; font-size: 12px; margin-bottom: 1em; padding: 0px; text-align: left;">Stay tuned to see what I manage to blow up first; the machine or my kitchen</div>Ficticious Malicioushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10098357443416037810noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7878935765993321005.post-71176375495152329172012-05-19T21:09:00.001-07:002012-05-19T21:39:20.049-07:00Let's Talk Triangoli.There are some underrated foods out there. Foods so good you can eat them plain, and can dress them up however and they still taste fantastic. I've discovered Trader Giotto's Butternut Squash Triangoli, and their awesomeness is off the charts.<br />
<br />
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="http://www.makeupandbeautyblog.com/wp-content/uploads/2012/01/1-trader-joes-butternut-squash-triangoli.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="266" src="http://www.makeupandbeautyblog.com/wp-content/uploads/2012/01/1-trader-joes-butternut-squash-triangoli.jpg" width="400" /></a></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<br /></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;">
It's from Trader Joe's, and if you haven't already been there, make plans to go very soon. Possibly today, because it will be raining monday and tuesday like a bitch. (At least here in NY) Is it really from Italy? Is the produce really organic? Nobody knows because the company is notoriously tight-lipped about where they get their supplies. All I know is that I can get stuff like this, microwaveable falafel, spicy lobster sushi rolls, a pint of chocolate ice cream made from coconut milk, olive tapenade, pea sprouts, fruit leather, creamy almond butter and about two dozen other, gourmet-level items suffed into two large paper shopping bags, all for under $30. I mean, this is like the Whole Foods for hipsters with a hometown feel. It's always crowded as hell but the prices and quality of the foods are well worth it to me. As for whether the food is what they say it is, and from where they say it's from, a large part of me is willing to live in blissful ignorance for now.</div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;">
<br /></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;">
As long as I get to make meals like this a few times a week:</div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;">
<br /></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="http://i4.photobucket.com/albums/y130/callous_malice/butternutravioli2.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="300" src="http://i4.photobucket.com/albums/y130/callous_malice/butternutravioli2.jpg" width="400" /></a></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;">
<br /></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;">
That's what I had before work today, and it was awesome. Better than awesome. So simple to make too. </div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;">
<br /></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;">
Ingredients:</div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;">
1 Tbsp non-hydrogenated margarine, like Smart Balance</div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;">
6 Butternut Squash Triangolis</div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;">
1 1/2 cup raw Spinach</div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;">
1 cup Pea shoots</div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;">
Handful of cherry tomatoes, quartered</div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;">
2 Tbsps Lime juice</div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;">
1 Cup chopped Cilantro</div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;">
1 Tbsp minced garlic</div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;">
1 Tbsp Worcestershire sauce</div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;">
1/2 cup chopped Cippolini onions. (in case you don't know what they look like, here's a pic.)</div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;">
<br /></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="http://i4.photobucket.com/albums/y130/callous_malice/cippolinionions.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="242" src="http://i4.photobucket.com/albums/y130/callous_malice/cippolinionions.jpg" width="400" /></a></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;">
Just like the powder, they're really sweet and delicious. But watch out, they're just as caustic to chop as regular onions. If you can't find cippolinis, regular small yellow onions will do.</div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;">
<br /></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;">
Method: </div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;">
Boil the triangolis for about 3-5 minutes until soft. In the meantime, melt the margarine in a separate saute' pan. Add the onions, garlic and spinach. Stir until slightly caramelized and the spinach is wilted, about 3-4 minutes. Add the triangolis once they're done. Add the lime juice, cherry tomatoes, worcestershire sauce and cilantro. Saute' until blended and heated through, another 2-3 minutes. Add the pea sprouts raw when everything is arranged on the plate. You may add them to the pan the last minute or so to warm them up but they are best when crunchy. </div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;">
<br /></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;">
One package has about 3 servings worth of pasta in it, which means more awesome meals!</div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;">
<br /></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="http://i4.photobucket.com/albums/y130/callous_malice/butternutravioliwvegs.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="300" src="http://i4.photobucket.com/albums/y130/callous_malice/butternutravioliwvegs.jpg" width="400" /></a></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;">
<br /></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;">
I made this earlier in the week. The only difference to this recipe is that it uses lemon juice, white wine, plum tomatoes, swiss chard and zucchini. Ugh, it came out so freakin' good. Eating like this is really helping me too. As of this week, I'm down to 165 lbs. Finally starting to see the shape I so enjoyed in my early 20's. I have about 20 lbs left to lose. Would you believe Tammy had me blown up to 220 lbs? At my height, it made me look like a sausage. *Shudders* I'll never go back. Thank you, Trader Joe's for showing me that good food doesn't always have to be steak and potatoes!</div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;">
<br /></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;">
You should totally check them out.</div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;">
<br /></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;">
<br /></div>
<br />Ficticious Malicioushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10098357443416037810noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7878935765993321005.post-34121632309220739372012-05-17T17:44:00.001-07:002012-05-17T23:33:23.264-07:00Brown Rice And Beaners<div>
<br />
<img height="640" src="http://lh3.ggpht.com/-wPKDhflbe34/T7WbegJrMEI/AAAAAAAAAgM/7P_LCqMiKjM/2012-05-17%25252020.37.14.png" width="480" /><br />
<br />
<br />
Yeah, I had some leftover vegetarian beans from a small can I opened for something or other. Also made a fuckton of brown Rice for me to heat up during the week. Put the two together, sprinkle some fresh cilantro, onion or cippolini powder, adobo and lime juice... you got dinner. Or in my case, breakfast. I know I should probably be having more meat or greens with it, but truthfully this is about all I can stomach right now. Gimmie like 2 hours and I'll be craving a 7 course meal. LOL
</div>Ficticious Malicioushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10098357443416037810noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7878935765993321005.post-34160380932848188722012-05-13T06:35:00.001-07:002012-05-13T20:46:33.126-07:00Filling Up On Veggies<div>
<br />
<br />
<img height="480" src="http://lh3.ggpht.com/-0UA4Z6c4_Yc/T6-4uX6S7BI/AAAAAAAAAgA/64_9S4JWdYI/healthygrub.png" width="640" /><br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
This is the dish that has yet to be named. Its an accompaniment to frozen shrimp specially designed to fill me up hardcore and overload my body with soluble fiber which I know I'm not getting enough of. This is a haphazard, unplanned combination of bok choy, zucchini, squash, spinach, swiss chard, fresh chives, garlic, cilantro and scallions, sautéed in a mixture of white cooking wine, lemon juice, non-hydrogenated margarine, worcestershire sauce and dried dill. I also have my ultimate secret weapon which I only added a dash of-- cippolini powder! If you've never tasted it, you don't know what you're missing!<br />
<br />
Imagine onion powder, but ground much finer, with a taste so sweet - sweeter than shallots- so sweet you can candy five-alarm chili with it. I make a sweet, smoky chili to begin with so I can't wait to try making it using this! The challenging part will be if it tends to make normally savory dishes a little too sweet. Gotta find the right balance. I just got the damn thing yesterday, indulge a guy some time to experiment, would ya'??<br />
Look at the bright side, you can laugh at me when I screw up. Now go eat your veggies, dammit.<br />
</div>Ficticious Malicioushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10098357443416037810noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7878935765993321005.post-60523817908028571602012-05-13T02:40:00.001-07:002012-05-13T02:49:57.165-07:00Madison Square Eats...And So Do I.I love being a foodie in NYC. If I was a foodie anywhere else, my gawd, it would be torture. I'd actually need to come here to experience real bagels, pizza, Chinese and Indian food anyway.<br />
<br />
Although being in Maine does have it's benefits, if you recall the lobster roll post from 2010... I'll get back to that in a bit. May is an awesome month, isn't it? Mild weather, green markets galore and tons of edible events like <a href="http://www.jamieoliver.com/us/foundation/jamies-food-revolution/news-content/food-revolution-day-2012" target="_blank">Jamie Oliver's Food Revolution Day</a>, coming up on the 19th, and Madison Square Eats on Broadway and 25th street in Manhattan's flatiron district. When I read about all the vendors that were going to be there in one place, serving their famous morsels to the public, I knew I had to try it out. And hell, it's been too damn long since I've done an excursion for this blog anyways.<br />
<br />
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="http://i4.photobucket.com/albums/y130/callous_malice/fromafar-1.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="300" src="http://i4.photobucket.com/albums/y130/callous_malice/fromafar-1.jpg" width="400" /></a></div>
<br />
I couldn't sleep at all so I just got up and went out. That's typical for me. And look, there it is from afar! Aren't you excited?? I sure was, I saw it from across the street, missed the light and wanted to spread my ass cheeks and fly across traffic.<br />
<br />
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="http://i4.photobucket.com/albums/y130/callous_malice/madsqeatssign.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="640" src="http://i4.photobucket.com/albums/y130/callous_malice/madsqeatssign.jpg" width="480" /></a></div>
<br />
Eventually, the light turned again and I made it. This is the entrance sign with a complete list of which vendors are available. Sadly, I was only allowing myself a couple small treats so I had to be very picky. And believe me... temptation was EVERYWHERE.<br />
<br />
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="http://i4.photobucket.com/albums/y130/callous_malice/hellyeah.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="300" src="http://i4.photobucket.com/albums/y130/callous_malice/hellyeah.jpg" width="400" /></a></div>
Brownies. Chocolate chip cookies. MARSHMALLOW KRISPIES TREATS AAUUGHHHMMMNOMNOMNOM!!! MUUSSTTT COONNSUUUUMMMEEE<br />
<br />
Well, no. I resisted. I may not like being hungry but I have complete control over what I allow to quell that hunger.<br />
<br />
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="http://i4.photobucket.com/albums/y130/callous_malice/cannolis.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="300" src="http://i4.photobucket.com/albums/y130/callous_malice/cannolis.jpg" width="400" /></a></div>
Thankfully, I'm not tempted by canolis because I don't like them. And yet I grew up in Bensonhurst, Brooklyn which is almost as Italian as Little Italy. (At least it was in those days) Go figure.<br />
<br />
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="http://i4.photobucket.com/albums/y130/callous_malice/layout.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="300" src="http://i4.photobucket.com/albums/y130/callous_malice/layout.jpg" width="400" /></a></div>
But BBQ Mexican? Yeah, now we're talkin'. <br />
<br />
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="http://i4.photobucket.com/albums/y130/callous_malice/busyasfuck.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="300" src="http://i4.photobucket.com/albums/y130/callous_malice/busyasfuck.jpg" width="400" /></a></div>
<br />
Despite it all being crammed so close together, there was quite a lot to choose from so I knew being good and sticking to my whole new healthy lifestyle would pose a serious challenge.<br />
<br />
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="http://i4.photobucket.com/albums/y130/callous_malice/menu.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="300" src="http://i4.photobucket.com/albums/y130/callous_malice/menu.jpg" width="400" /></a></div>
<br />
<br />
What shocked me more than anything was how ridiculously expensive everything was. A burger and fries $19. Soup $15. Personal pizza $14. Tons of other gourmet shit that ran as much as $25. This Chinese place was the cheapest place I saw, which is why I had to shoot it. Though... Chinese? I live near friggin' Little Chinatown, I could get that crap anytime. No, I made a special trip here and I was determined to get something I couldn't get anywhere else.<br />
<br />
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="http://i4.photobucket.com/albums/y130/callous_malice/very1stmacaroon.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="300" src="http://i4.photobucket.com/albums/y130/callous_malice/very1stmacaroon.jpg" width="400" /></a></div>
My solution? Macaroons. Not the mounds of shredded coconut, no. These are artisan, fancy shmancy french macaroons that I always hear about but are too expensive for me to afford. They have National Macaroon day sometime in Feb or March where they give these suckers away for free but I'm a fucknugget and I always miss it. So I've never tried them. I asked the lady at the Macaron Parlor which one I should try to break my cherry and she suggested a simple flavor like pistachio or caramel. Going with the pistachio flavor for a whopping $3.50... yes, for that little fucking pastry, they wanted $3.50 and I paid it like a schmuck. "Can't put a price on a new experience, right?" I told myself as I shelled out the cash, gritting my teeth like the stereotypical Jew.<br />
<br />
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="http://i4.photobucket.com/albums/y130/callous_malice/pistachio.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="300" src="http://i4.photobucket.com/albums/y130/callous_malice/pistachio.jpg" width="400" /></a></div>
Ladies and Gents, behold: the french macaroon. Sort of like a pretentious, gourmet whoopie pie for yuppie douchebags. There's real cream inside that little green sandwich. My first bite was misleading. For some strange reason I thought these things would be crunchy or at least gummy. But no, it was light and airy, like eating a little pistachio flavored cloud. I was however, slightly disappointed in the taste. I've had pistachio flavored things. There's this deli on New Utrecht avenue that sells the most mouthwatering, amazing pistachio muffin tops you'll ever have. But this? Meh, not impressed. Especially not for $3.50. They could at least pack a whollup of flavor into these little cakeballs. Still can't difinitively decide whether I liked it or not. For the time being, I'm giving it a 3 out of 5 stars, equally because of the price and my astonishing underwhem-ment.<br />
<br />
Now, onto the main course!<br />
<br />
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="http://i4.photobucket.com/albums/y130/callous_malice/mainelobsterroll.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="300" src="http://i4.photobucket.com/albums/y130/callous_malice/mainelobsterroll.jpg" width="400" /></a></div>
You remember back in 2010 <a href="http://malsfoodporn.blogspot.com/2010/08/nobody-rocks-lobster-like-maine.html" target="_blank">I went with Tamara and her family to New England and tried Lobster for the first time in the form of one of these</a>? It was really, really good. I was genuinely surprised at how good it was; it was like my tongue just got laid. Been longing to duplicate that ever since and knew a trip back to Maine was unlikely. So when I saw Red Hook's Lobster Pound stand was selling Lobster rolls Maine style, (which I guess includes lemon-infused mayonnaise) well, I went bonkers. Yeah, it was a hefty $16, but to have that taste again? I'd have probably paid $20.<br />
<br />
I know exactly what you're going to say, and you're right. Much like having a Philly Cheesesteak from a Pakistani street cart in Montauk, it was not the same. It wasn't even in the same ballpark of the same. It wasn't even in same's hemisphere. If you can take a good look at what they did here, you will understand why. First of all, it didn't have that sweet, melt-in-your-mouth goodness the Maine lobster roll had. I couldn't taste it very much at all. The lemon was so subtle, it was practically absent. In fact, I couldn't taste anything over the loads of paprika they ladeled over the fucking thing.<br />
<br />
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="http://i4.photobucket.com/albums/y130/callous_malice/toochunky.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="522" src="http://i4.photobucket.com/albums/y130/callous_malice/toochunky.jpg" width="640" /></a></div>
The worst part was the sheer laziness of the chefs. That's supposed to be lobster SALAD. You're supposed to chop up the lobster in lobster SALAD. You wouldn't presume to serve tuna salad with giant dry chunks, would you?? As a result, this was difficult to eat. It was stringy, chewy and the citrus and mayo element didn't play any part in the taste at all. It was just big, dry chunks of bland fish that didn't even really taste like lobster. Tasted more like imitation lobster. That, and fucktons of that goddamn paprika. I was so disappointed. I'm giving it 1 out of 5 stars simply because it was barely edible. It didn't even quell my hunger. I'm actually pissed off at these people for unleashing such a horrible representation of this dish onto this world. And for $16??? For shame.<br />
<br />
<br />
So.... whatever. Since I was angry, still very hungry and looking to finally be wowed by these supposed gourmet chefs already, I went back like a masochist and tried another stand. But since I shelled out so much for the first thing, I didn't have much left for another full meal. I saw a stand selling gourmet riceballs. Yeah, they were deep fried, but they were also like $4 and I was hoping the rice in them would finally settle my turbulent tummy.<br />
<br />
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="http://i4.photobucket.com/albums/y130/callous_malice/riceball.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="367" src="http://i4.photobucket.com/albums/y130/callous_malice/riceball.jpg" width="400" /></a></div>
The riceballs in the typical Brooklyn pizzaria don't look terribly different from this. They're about 2x bigger stuffed with ground beef, mozzarella cheese and sometimes even fresh peas, depending on where you go. This was actually quite refreshing. All the ones I initially picked were sold out so I chose one stuffed with pesto, paraesano cheese and sliced cherry tomatoes. I'm giving it a 4 out of 5 because the flavor was there, it was filling and easy to eat. Though I am taking a star off because deep fried is never good, and $4 for this little thing was a bit steep. Like I said, I could get one twice as big back in Brooklyn for half the price. I suppose the "gourmet" title affords you a certain level of price gouging, especially in Manhattan.<br />
<br />
I had a few bucks leftover and I felt like I was finally on a winning streak, so I did something I don't usually do, which a few of you may find hard to believe.<br />
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="http://i4.photobucket.com/albums/y130/callous_malice/peoplespop.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="333" src="http://i4.photobucket.com/albums/y130/callous_malice/peoplespop.jpg" width="400" /></a></div>
Yeah, for those who don't know, I'm not much on frozen desserts. I like red bean ice cream from Japanese restaurants, but regular ice cream, especially soft serve makes me ill, I can't stand it. Likewise with most sherberts and shaved ices. I do recall liking those old frozen fruit bars I used to get from ice cream trucks. Do you remember those? I can't find pics of them on google. May not even be getting the name right. Oh well. Anyway, this was from a stand called People's Pops. It's strawberry rhubarb, made with organic, locally grown produce, yada yada, yackidy shmackidy, the whole hipster deal. All I know is, this wasn't bad. I rather enjoyed it, which is more than I can say for anything Haagen Daaz puts out. So yeah, 4 out of 5 stars for them too. If I was a huge fan of frozen fair, it would be a 5 out of 5. So far, the highest ranking item on the menu.<br />
<br />
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="http://i4.photobucket.com/albums/y130/callous_malice/popsprops.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="310" src="http://i4.photobucket.com/albums/y130/callous_malice/popsprops.jpg" width="400" /></a></div>
And I suppose if we were holding a contest here, they would be the winner. Just so happens it's dessert. Coincidence? Hmmmm.... maaayybeeee.<br />
<br />
Would I go back? Sure, I have lots of other stuff to waste my money on, and lots more reviews to write! But before you go, I have a few more photos to show you, because my night didn't end there.<br />
<br />
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="http://i4.photobucket.com/albums/y130/callous_malice/madsqparknoms.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="300" src="http://i4.photobucket.com/albums/y130/callous_malice/madsqparknoms.jpg" width="400" /></a></div>
<br />
Inside Madison Square Park proper is a more permenant food stand. The line was ridiculously long, it was all greasy burgers, fries and shakes I couldn't have anyway, and I was now flat broke.<br />
<br />
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="http://i4.photobucket.com/albums/y130/callous_malice/artwtf.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="300" src="http://i4.photobucket.com/albums/y130/callous_malice/artwtf.jpg" width="400" /></a></div>
<br />
There was an..... um.... I guess an art exhibit of some sort. Can't really see because my camera sucks. It was too light for the flash and too dark for anything to come out clearly. Even if you could see, I doubt you'd be able to identify what these sculptures were supposed to be anyways.<br />
<br />
Parodies of birds? Animals? WTF?? <br />
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="http://i4.photobucket.com/albums/y130/callous_malice/petsoundsart.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="640" src="http://i4.photobucket.com/albums/y130/callous_malice/petsoundsart.jpg" width="480" /></a></div>
<br />
I know I went to art school and all, but that doesn't mean I will "get" every artist. And just because I don't "get" somebody work doesn't mean it's actually art. So I reiterate... yeah. WTF. Seriously, all I know is that whole portion of the park was inaccessable because of this bullshit.<br />
<br />
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="http://i4.photobucket.com/albums/y130/callous_malice/occupydrums.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="300" src="http://i4.photobucket.com/albums/y130/callous_malice/occupydrums.jpg" width="400" /></a></div>
Hurm. What's this? Drums, dancing, people holding signs, selling t-shirts and sleeping on the floor? Gotta be an occupy demonstration.<br />
<br />
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="http://i4.photobucket.com/albums/y130/callous_malice/occupysign.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="300" src="http://i4.photobucket.com/albums/y130/callous_malice/occupysign.jpg" width="400" /></a></div>
I must admit, I'm around the Union Square area a lot more often than I visit Madison Square. There's just more cool shit around here, like Maoz, Forbidden Planet, the Strand, Whole Foods and Trader Joe's. It's a hipster haven and yet, ya' can't argue that they know good shit when they see it. Also, just a short walk from St. Mark's Place, where I've been hanging out since I was like 13. lol<br />
<br />
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="http://i4.photobucket.com/albums/y130/callous_malice/guyfawkesdude.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="300" src="http://i4.photobucket.com/albums/y130/callous_malice/guyfawkesdude.jpg" width="400" /></a></div>
The demo was really cool though. It was ultra crowded and crazy loud. This dude was awesome, he draws all these posters and makes the t-shirts himself. I got a free hug, flyers, stickers and got hit up for money 3 times on my way through the park. I need to hand it to these guys. You can bash them all you want but they're fighting for all of us; anyone who looks at a $22 dish from a street cart and thinks, "are they out of their fucking minds?" Remember that the 1% owns the media so don't let them paint OWS as lazy, violent schitzo bums. They're warriors who have had their lives ripped apart by corporate greed. The Revolutionary War started off with protests and riots too. Without them, we'd all still be speaking the Queen's English. Show some love and respect.<br />
<br />
<br />
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="http://i4.photobucket.com/albums/y130/callous_malice/potpetition.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="300" src="http://i4.photobucket.com/albums/y130/callous_malice/potpetition.jpg" width="400" /></a></div>
Oh yes, and weed. Can't forget the weed. Ever since Obama unleashed the petition bandwagon onto the American people, he's received more to legalize pot than anything else. Can you imagine getting this one in the mail? It's a giant... I'm guessing dropcloth? with hundreds of signatures on it. No, I didn't sign, they aren't going to legalize it no matter how many petitions they send because arrests for possession of weed accounts for something like 70% of police funding.<br />
<br />
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="http://i4.photobucket.com/albums/y130/callous_malice/kittens.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="300" src="http://i4.photobucket.com/albums/y130/callous_malice/kittens.jpg" width="400" /></a></div>
And what better way for me to bring this long-winded blog to a close than a bunch of rescue kittens? The woman who set this up gets these babies from the streets. They're left in the garbage, trapped in drainage pipes, inside walls, abandoned by their mother in alleyways, and she takes them all to her house and feeds them. <br />
<br />
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="http://i4.photobucket.com/albums/y130/callous_malice/omegakitty.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="300" src="http://i4.photobucket.com/albums/y130/callous_malice/omegakitty.jpg" width="400" /></a></div>
<br />
I gave her my last $1.35 because I'm a big sap for causes like this.<br />
<br />
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="http://i4.photobucket.com/albums/y130/callous_malice/alphakitty.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="300" src="http://i4.photobucket.com/albums/y130/callous_malice/alphakitty.jpg" width="400" /></a></div>
I mean, c'mon. Lookit that adorable little face. Wouldn't you??<br />
<br />
Well, that's about it. Thanks for reading, and hope you enjoyed my culinary misadventure a lot more than I enjoyed that shitty lobster roll.Ficticious Malicioushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10098357443416037810noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7878935765993321005.post-76396169824638600502012-04-27T01:22:00.002-07:002012-04-27T01:22:31.044-07:00Killer Grafitti<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="http://cdn09.boweryboogie.com/media/uploads/2012/04/PieHard1-560x486.jpg?9d7bd4" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="346" src="http://cdn09.boweryboogie.com/media/uploads/2012/04/PieHard1-560x486.jpg?9d7bd4" width="400" /></a></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<br /></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<br /></div>
Fuck yeah.Ficticious Malicioushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10098357443416037810noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7878935765993321005.post-56247496961167122062012-04-24T04:35:00.001-07:002012-04-25T01:47:08.914-07:00What to do with shitty Casamiento<div>
<br /><br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
<img height="400" src="http://lh6.ggpht.com/-4TndLSwJco0/T5aQD3as-zI/AAAAAAAAAf4/YvoqktLQobs/2012-04-24%25252007.06.18.png" width="300" /><br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
I ordered from this local El Salvadorian restaurant Sunday night,
because I'm a new yorker and I can do that. Well, not only were they an
hour late with the food, but everything was mad greasy and bland. If
you've never had Casamiento before, it's a hearty rice and beans dish
that's supposed to be flavorful and delicious- if done right. This was
flat, uniform purple, no veggies thrown in, no spice. It was disgusting.
Yet I hate wasting food, so I needed to somehow make this slop edible.<br />
<br />
It
was surprisingly easy. Pico de Gallo would have been a good option but I
didn't have any, so I diced up about a half an onion, a half a red bell
pepper, 3 gloves of garlic and about a cup of fresh cilantro. Cooking
sprayed the pan, got it real hot. Sauteed the veggies with the leftover
Casamiento until hot. Added about 2 Tbsp Franks Red Hot (love that
sauce, I could put it on everything), 1/4 cup lime juice and the
cilantro at the very last moment. Heat through another 30 seconds, mix
well and voila! You got what Casamiento is supposed to be; bold, packed
with hearty deliciousness and it will even have a decent kick. Add more
sauce and even some jalapeño peppers if you want it mas picanté.<br />
<br />
And
if you live out somewhere in Carajoland without El Salvadorian
restaurants, I suggest you try making Casamiento yourself. If I wasn't
posting from my phone I would link you a few good recipies... but
seriously, this isn't your first rodeo, I'm sure you know how to work
Google all by yourself.<br />
<br /></div>Ficticious Malicioushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10098357443416037810noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7878935765993321005.post-71426657392729960962012-04-21T01:21:00.001-07:002012-04-21T01:51:28.548-07:00A few things I forgot to mentionGood news:<br />
<br />
I found some pics I took of meals I made in between last Thanksgiving and when I finally got my internet back. So I thought since I have a lot to make up for, I would post them here and list the recipes as well as I remember them... or at least the basic idea.<br />
<br />
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="http://i4.photobucket.com/albums/y130/callous_malice/mattsdinner.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="300" src="http://i4.photobucket.com/albums/y130/callous_malice/mattsdinner.jpg" width="400" /></a></div>
<br />
This is something really quick and easy I whipped up while at my love's house. It's noodles, chopped broccoli, mushrooms and cubed chicken, and I used a can of Campbell's roasted garlic cream of mushroom soup for the sauce. Threw some lemon juice, white wine and non-hydrogenated margarine in there to add dimension to it. The whole thing took like, 15 minutes to make. It was pretty damn good if I do say so myself. I've made this a few times with varying vegetables, I like to add stuff like red bell pepper, black beans and fresh parsley for color.<br />
<br />
<br />
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="http://i4.photobucket.com/albums/y130/callous_malice/Mixed2011-12-7041.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="300" src="http://i4.photobucket.com/albums/y130/callous_malice/Mixed2011-12-7041.jpg" width="400" /></a></div>
<br />
Yes, I made him rabbit. It's not something I make too much so I basically just pulled a random recipe out of my ass. Not literally, that would be gross. I did post it on <a href="http://www.grouprecipes.com/131291/kill-da-wabbit.html">my grouprecipes page, here</a>. I needed to record it somewhere because by now I have completely forgotten what I did. The recipe above it is up there along with a bunch of other stuff I did, like my very first Salsa Verde. That came out AMAZING.<br />
<br />
<br />
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="http://i4.photobucket.com/albums/y130/callous_malice/sausagerice.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="300" src="http://i4.photobucket.com/albums/y130/callous_malice/sausagerice.jpg" width="400" /></a></div>
<br />
<br />
I don't think I ever put this up anywhere. I made this for myself very soon after Tams left, to prove to myself that I can still cook for just me. The hillshire farm smoked turkey kielbasa is something I very quickly got addicted to because it's quick, easy, versitle, low-calorie and tasty as hell. This is the turkey sausage coined and sauteed with homemade fried rice (white rice, rice wine vinegar, toasted sesame oil and soy sauce) with garbanzo beans, peas and black sesame seeds for garnish. It was sinfully good. Later I learned how much fat gets snuck in through the oil and I cut down on making it this way.<br />
<br />
Instead, I make it this way now:<br />
<br />
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="http://i4.photobucket.com/albums/y130/callous_malice/sausagesproutsstirfry.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="320" src="http://i4.photobucket.com/albums/y130/callous_malice/sausagesproutsstirfry.jpg" width="239" /></a></div>
Forgive the poor picture quality, this is my crappy cell phone. Can't say I recall the exact recipe for this either, but it involves something I recently discovered by cruising the local green markets; sprouts. Oh yes, sprouts are like eating babies. But so is edamame, and that stuff is delicious! This includes mung bean sprouts and sunflower sprouts. Later I went onto using my favorite, pea sprouts! They are the best, they can be cooked any way and go with everything. They are packed with nutrients and so much flavor. The other stuff in there is all organic produce, multi colored fingerling potatoes, kale and jeruselum artichokes. It sounds fancy shmancy but it was really, really good.<br />
<br />
<br />
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="http://i4.photobucket.com/albums/y130/callous_malice/farmerscheese.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="300" src="http://i4.photobucket.com/albums/y130/callous_malice/farmerscheese.jpg" width="400" /></a></div>
<br />
Something more recent, this is double-spinach ravioli that I got ready made and just added some toppings to it. My love recently introduced me to farmer's cheese so I've been getting the no salt added variety and using it with pasta instead of the cream of mushroom soup. It's especially good when mixed with equal parts garlic pesto and added to pasta. Throw on some halved cherry tomatoes, fresh chives and pow, instant gourmet meal.<br />
<br />
So far I've lost about 80 lbs since that fat whore left. Most of that I attribute it to my new healthy lifestyle. I have a bit more to lose and still feel like a lardass, but I know I'm mostly there. I just have to kick this restaurant habit , my newfound love for handpulled noodles, and stuff like this:<br />
<br />
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="http://i4.photobucket.com/albums/y130/callous_malice/muffinmuffin.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="400" src="http://i4.photobucket.com/albums/y130/callous_malice/muffinmuffin.jpg" width="300" /></a></div>
<br />
and I'll be alright. lolFicticious Malicioushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10098357443416037810noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7878935765993321005.post-71651130661076285132012-04-20T21:47:00.003-07:002012-05-13T03:31:05.431-07:00A Happy Accident- Sorta.Alright, so I was really stoked about meat day. I was all prepared to completely fuck my diet up it's ass and have tons of dead cow to clog my arteries and make my depression go away for a while. My friend and I met up, we looked all around for this stupid fucking Carnegie John's meat cart but it wasn't there. It's not even that we didn't see it, because we asked around figuring the locals would all know about it considering it's supposedly such a hot thing, but none of the people I asked had a goddamn clue what I was talking about.o either the memory of this place has been unmade in everyone else's brains but mine, the location on the website was incorrect, or nobody I talked to have two fucking brain cells to rub together for warmth.<br />
<br />
I was tired, hungry and feeling mighty homicidal, so after looking around at all the overpriced bistros and fish places, (the smell of fish now having gotten me out of the mood for red meat) we decided on the Brooklyn Diner since my friend had never been there. Well, whatever. The Brooklyn Diner is pretty much an old standard for me since I used to work around the central park west area. It's a horrible thing to have to get lunch there on a budget because nothing halfway edible costs less than $15 unless you get a dirty water dog, a roll with butter and a bag of potato chips, or something off the dollar menu. I was actually thrilled to hear that Carnegie John's offered Midtowners the option of a $5 burger. That's brilliant, providing it actually exists. I'm not so convinced anymore.<br />
<br />
<br />
As far as prices go, the Brooklyn Diner is just like all it's neighbors, having the gall to charge around $18 for a cheeseburger and fries. The first time I paid this much for a burger, it was at Planet Hollywood in the early 90's and the jew in me had a fit about it for over a week. But my friend and I got to share a white chocolate sundae because we remembered the theme from Laverne and Shirley. lol That was back when I could actually stomach ice cream. Anyway, I digress.<br />
<br />
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="http://i4.photobucket.com/albums/y130/callous_malice/bkdinersalmonburger.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="300" src="http://i4.photobucket.com/albums/y130/callous_malice/bkdinersalmonburger.jpg" width="400" /></a></div>
<br />
I was still trying to be good, and wanted to try something new so I got the salmon burger. My GAWD, was this good. I mean, good isn't even the word, it was delicious and I savored every juicy, flavorful bite. I didn't even need the tartar sauce because the creamy avacado and the fresh lemon juice made it more than moist enough. But I got the split pea soup because I just didn't want the french fries. They charged me $2.50 extra. It had little pieces of fucking hot dog in it. Not ham, or bacon, or anything artisanny, no. Fucking hot dog. This didn't fully shock me because many years ago when my mother was alive, she took me here and I got spaghetti and meatballs. Well, I was horrified to find little pieces of bologna stuffed into my meatballs, and I like bologna even less than I like hot dogs. I mean... who fucking does that? You can't charge $20 for a plate of meatballs and fucking spaghetti and to save money or be slick, or whatever the fuck drove you to stuff goddamn bologna into your mother fucking meatballs. It's morally bankrupt. They should be ashamed of themselves. And putting fucking pieces of hot dog into a perfectly good bowl of split pea soup, well, that's plain out criminal. I took off two stars from my review just for that. Fucking hot dogs. What did they, look around like, "Chingao, we're all out of applewood smoked bacon! What are we gonna do??" and another mexican was like, "Just cut up the hot dogs in it, meng. Nobody's ordering them anyway."<br />
<br />
<br />
And the worst part is, I looked all the calorie info up on my nutrition site. The salmon burger, large sesame seed bun, 3 slices of avacado, 1 slice of tomato, fresh lemon juice and bowl of split pea soup added up to over 1,490 calories and 96 grams of fat. That's like.... 2/3rds of my daily calorie allowance and way over my fat allowance, in one sitting. That's not even including what they might have cooked the burger in. So uncool. Good thing I walked over 4 miles afterwards because I'm really sick of being a fat piece of shit. Right now I'm glad I couldn't find that cart because I can't imagine how much worse the rib eye steak sandwich would have been. But seriously, I think it's time I stepped away from restaurant food for a while and go back to cooking. That's what you freaks come here for after all, ain't it??Ficticious Malicioushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10098357443416037810noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7878935765993321005.post-37299102017619473532012-04-20T03:17:00.002-07:002012-04-20T03:52:54.897-07:00Carnegie John's Tonight-- Hell to the Yeah!Meeting a friend in midtown tonight while attempting to have a social life outside of work. We're gonna get our grub on and sit and relax in central park, so here's to hoping it doesn't spontaneously rain like it did wednesday. And since I failed to write a review on the village pourhouse, I will be most def. be reviewing this beloved street food stand that everyone is talking about. (The Pourhouse had excellent food, by the way, but my gawd was it loud and stuffy in there!! However, they are the only game in town that collects for the MS Foundation so they get a free pass from me. Absolutely try them!!)<br />
<br />
I still can't believe I have so many subscribers. And I just learned how many of you awesome folks have commented on my inane shit while I was away being too poor to afford internet. So I'll try to give you something worthwhile to comment on. Seriously, thank you. You guys kick ass.<br />
<br />
<br />Ficticious Malicioushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10098357443416037810noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7878935765993321005.post-10173849119270034812012-04-19T06:16:00.001-07:002012-04-19T06:16:22.930-07:00Joe Shanghai's owes me a new toilet.<div><p>So my love took me out to Joe Shanghai's this week. He had been raving about this place, saying I HAD to try their soup dumplings, they make the best ever. And oh, the dry shredded beef was out of this fucking world. Well, fine. I'm as adventurous a foodie as the next guy, so let's go. Well, we got lucky by getting a table right away because holy shit on wheat toast, was this place overcrowded. In fact, overcrowded is an obcene understatement; it was consistently mobbed from the minute we walked in to the minute we left, which wasn't too far from closing time. It was just a constant, noisy, cramped, loud ass flow of tourists. </p>
<p>Don't get me wrong, there's a reason business is booming- their food is delicious. Greasy, cheap and full of gristle, but delicious. Let me tell you, I've made my own soup dumplings at home, and there's no reason the soup to oil ratio should have been that off-balance. Plus, in recent months due to my diet I've been cutting down on meat.</p>
<p>So as a result, I was very disappointed that they didn't have more vegetarian options. They're known for their soup dumplings and they don't have a Veggie variety? Exponential fail, guys. I can go across the street from my house and get a half dozen real, fresh Veggie dumplings sans the grease for less than half what you charge for your pork and immitation seafood aborted love child slop. What the hell are you so afraid of vegetarian options for? You can totally load up a Veggie dumplings with just as much grease and charge just as much as you do your other two flavors. And yeah, the selection was far from vast, but I eventually decided on the fried Veggie rice cake. It wasn't at all what I expected. I was hoping for more of a rice pancake with veggies in it, but instead got a Veggie and rice coin stir-fry with tofu. That was the only part I didn't eat. Still tasty, but still grease-laden as fuck. Its no goddamn wonder my stomach is being torn to ribbons today. Ugh.</p>
<p>On a good note, the red bean shortcake, which again is mislabeled, was very, very good. Its a puff pastry with azuki bean paste that's lava-hot, coated with black toasted sesame seeds on the bottom and absolutely worth burning the shit out of your tongue on. I would make the trip back to chinatown and have the hershey squirts all over again just for another one of those puppies... but like, I live in Brooklyn so I don't have to. Best part? The places around here won't make me sick as a dog! </p>
<p>Bottom line, if you want good Chinese food, especially if you're watching your weight, stay the hell away from Joe Shanghai's. And for Fuck's sake, don't take everything you see on yelp.com as gospel.</p>
</div>Ficticious Malicioushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10098357443416037810noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7878935765993321005.post-55135060081044354742012-04-17T04:05:00.001-07:002012-04-17T04:05:44.566-07:00Whoa<div><p>I got the blogger app for my new smartphone and I think maybe it will allow me to post on here more often. Anyway, I just tried Dulche de Leche Cheerios with chocolate almond milk. A relationship built to last, and if you haven't already tried it, you are wasting your life. That is all for now.</p>
</div>Ficticious Malicioushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10098357443416037810noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7878935765993321005.post-85048429254263147862011-11-06T03:42:00.000-08:002011-11-06T03:42:28.492-08:002011 Shortcut Thanksgiving Ideas<img alt="" height="194" src="http://3.bp.blogspot.com/_cVuZGQepa3M/TQat__-L5DI/AAAAAAAAAPA/dmcRebR1c2U/s320/potatoes.jpg" width="259" /><br />
<br />
<span style="font-size: medium;">Okay, I haven't added any posts in this thing a while. Mainly because it took me so damn long to move, and for a while I had no pots, pans or even a microwave. You guys know I hate cooking for myself so my diet has of late consisted of take out and ramen soup. Of course when I go over friends' houses (especially a special certain someone, or if he comes to see me) I cook my ass off. I wish I could have taken pictures of some of the stuff I've made, at least so this and my grouprecipes account wouldn't be so dead. </span><br />
<span style="font-size: medium;"><br />
</span><br />
<span style="font-size: medium;">This Thanksgiving is going to be a short one, because I can't celebrate it on my birthday (the 22nd) and I can't celebrate it on the 29th because I'll be stuck in jury duty. (Thanks for that, assholes) I can't call out on Thanksgiving night because it's against company policy to use sick days for holidays, so I may call out the day before so I can at least get some sleep and have some time to cook. *Sigh* So this is the plan.<br />
<span style="font-size: medium;"><br />
<br />
I need a menu that's quick to prepare, limited in gluten and enough to feed 4 people. So far I'm guessing a mixed roasted herbed potato dish, steak, some manner of vegetable, and possibly a gluten-free desert like almond cookies or coconut bars. I can take shortcuts for a price, like buying appetizers and sides from the supermarket, little dessert pies from the green market but that's expensive as hell.<br />
<br />
I have a few recipes in mind that I got from this month's issue of food magazine. Let me know what you think.<br />
<br />
For the starch starter: <a href="http://www.foodnetwork.com/recipes/food-network-kitchens/molasses-biscuits-recipe/index.html">Molasses Biscuits</a><br />
Appetizer: <a href="http://www.foodnetwork.com/recipes/food-network-kitchens/fried-peppers-and-olives-recipe/index.html">Fried Peppers and Olives</a><br />
Dip idead: <a href="http://www.foodnetwork.com/recipes/alton-brown/edamame-dip-recipe/index.html">Edemame dip</a> or <a href="http://www.mealtime.org/recipe_details.aspx?id=900">Roasted Garlic Cannellini spread</a> (I've had something similar in my cookbook for years)<br />
Veggie Idea: <a href="http://www.foodnetwork.com/recipes/anne-burrell/spice-roasted-cauliflower-and-jerusalem-artichokes-recipe/index.html">Spice-Roasted Cauliflower and Jerusalem Artichokes</a><br />
Potato dish: <a href="http://www.foodnetwork.com/recipes/sandra-lee/mixed-roasted-potatoes-with-herb-butter-recipe/index.html">Sandra Lee's Mixed Roasted Potatoes with Herb Butter </a><br />
Main Dish: I'm not making a turkey. I hate roasted turkey with a passion and have never made it on Thanksgiving, ever. Yet I have no idea what I should make. Maybe a meatloaf? A roast chicken instead? Spinach manicotti? Something fucked up I saw on Epic Mealtime or thisiswhyyourefat.com? (which seems to be gone now)Well, I have just over 2 weeks to figure something out. Anybody have any suggestions?<br />
</span><br />
<br />
<br />
Later addendum: Random note: I'm thinking about meat. Maybe meatloaf in the shape of a cooked turkey. Or maybe I can make this thing Tammy taught me how to make. That fucking whore is long gone and yet her fat cunt legacy remains. She taught me the most unhealthy and absolutely delicious meatloaf recipe ever. You mix meatloaf as usual but make a flat square out of it, right? Then you put cheddar, shredded parmesan and either swiss chard, spinach or broccoli in there for color. Maybe some onions. Y'know, so you won't feel so bad. So you roll this baby up and bake it. Maybe smother it in BBQ or tomato sauce, maybe you cover it with a goddamn bacon weave if you really hate your arteries. My gawd, this thing goos and oozes out pure cheesy goodness when you cut into it and tastes like anal sex. In heaven. In your mouth. Like anal sex in your mouth in heaven, only a thousand times better. So sinful, you won't be able to stop yourself from having seconds. Should I seriously subject my family to this delightful torture? And later, crippling remorse? </span><br />
<br />
<br />
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="http://www.cooksrecipes.com/recipe_ground_meats_pics/florentine_beef_pinwheel.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="http://www.cooksrecipes.com/recipe_ground_meats_pics/florentine_beef_pinwheel.jpg" /></a></div><br />
<br />
Or am I just looking for an excuse to make the friggin thing again? Fuck that stupid whore, god damn her! I am forever tainted by her evil fatty food!Ficticious Malicioushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10098357443416037810noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7878935765993321005.post-4757558918435989602011-08-11T21:27:00.001-07:002011-08-11T21:27:57.389-07:00I'M SO PISSED OFF!!<img border="0" src="http://live.drjays.com/wp-content/uploads/2011/08/knzh_RihannaVitaCocoWeb.png" /><br />
<br />
<a href="http://youtu.be/nf670orHKcA">Our bunch of coconuts are not lovely</a>. Scientists did a study on my favorite drink, coconut water, which is what I turned to when I changed up my eating habits. It promises tons of nutrition, with rehydration and electrolyte recharging abilities to rival sports drinks. Turns out it's a giant scam just like everything else. I knew something was off the second Rihanna got involved with the Vita Coco advertising campaign. At least Zico passed the test, but I haven't seen that stuff anywhere but Trader Joe's... and it's never refridgerated and always such a trek for me to get there. Despite all this shock and disappointment, I'm still going to drink my coconut milk because it contains medium chain triglycerides which burns as energy and drinking it has helped me lose a ton of weight. It's also good for the heart and has been touted to help those with kidney disease. All that crap you heard in the past about coconut oil being unhealthy is only valid if the oil has been hydrogenated.<br />
<br />
So yeah, this is the article. I guess now this means I need to make a trip to Trader Joe's instead of just going to the corner store for my Vita Coco, which is apparently just sugar water. *Sigh*<br />
<br />
<a href="http://www.huffingtonpost.com/2011/08/04/coconut-water-not-the-mag_n_918135.html">http://www.huffingtonpost.com/2011/08/04/coconut-water-not-the-mag_n_918135.html </a>Ficticious Malicioushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10098357443416037810noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7878935765993321005.post-19451753764538807312011-07-30T02:18:00.000-07:002011-07-30T02:26:22.913-07:00Gluten-free, Low-fat (ish?) Pork LoafI know way too many people who can't have gluten now, it's getting ridiculous. So I'm trying to revamp my already tried and true recipes so I can pawn some of my cooking off on my gluten-impaired friends and family. And ahh, it does feel good to be able to cook again! The entire summer, I've been bedhopping because my apartment is too hot to survive in. No really, 3rd floor + no air conditioning + Above 100 degree weather = death, so I've been couchsurfing since this awful weather began. It's no joke, they say more people die from heat than any other natural weather condition, including hurricanes and tornadoes. Just this summer alone so far, 22 people have died, including a 10 year old girl. In '95 a similar heatwave killed over 700 people. So by allowing me to crash for a day on their couch, my father, my best friend and my new semi-long distance lover have actually been saving my life. Cooking for them is the least I can do.<br />
<br />
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="http://2.bp.blogspot.com/-HZltTf1CFIQ/TjPMJY4Zp8I/AAAAAAAAAfc/G9mG1ekTh_w/s1600/pork+loaf+sliced.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="480" src="http://2.bp.blogspot.com/-HZltTf1CFIQ/TjPMJY4Zp8I/AAAAAAAAAfc/G9mG1ekTh_w/s640/pork+loaf+sliced.jpg" width="640" /></a></div><br />
<b>Ingredients</b><br />
1 1/2 lbs of ground pork <br />
1 Cup Rice Krispies, crushed. (Note: You may need a bit more) <br />
1/4 cup All Whites (my new cholesterol-friendly alternative to eggs) <br />
2 Tbsp worcestershire sauce <br />
1 Tbsp each: thyme, parsley, garlic and onion powder, smoked paprika and something special I picked up at Trader Joe's- South African Smoke seasoning. Oh yeah, it was totally worth the trip. <br />
Okay, the smoke seasoning is optional. But really good! <br />
If you don't care about gluten, you may use regular breadcrumbs either instead or in addition to the cereal.<br />
<br />
<b>Method</b><br />
Preheat the oven to 350° F.<br />
In a large mixing bowl, mash all the ingredients together with your hands and form it into a loaf. Don't be shy, mash your love right into it- really get in there! You can always wash your hands later. Once it's in the pan and your hands are clean, sprinkle a bit more parsley over the top for color and bake at 350° F for about an hour. Oh, you probably want to put some water in the pan (or pam spray) to keep it from sticking.<br />
Once it's done, let it rest for a few minutes out of the oven, then slice and enjoy!<br />
<br />
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="http://1.bp.blogspot.com/-qn1EW5_RSWU/TjPMoztJWgI/AAAAAAAAAfg/OjeoKeDvRr8/s1600/southafricansmoke.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="320" src="http://1.bp.blogspot.com/-qn1EW5_RSWU/TjPMoztJWgI/AAAAAAAAAfg/OjeoKeDvRr8/s320/southafricansmoke.jpg" width="245" /></a></div>Mmmm, this is South African Smoke seasoning. It tastes and smells so good, even if the grinder part of it really sucks. Get it anyway!!!<br />
<br />
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="http://2.bp.blogspot.com/-ye7UoMHaLdE/TjPM-9C4XlI/AAAAAAAAAfo/-joav-vQq58/s1600/pork+loaf.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="478" src="http://2.bp.blogspot.com/-ye7UoMHaLdE/TjPM-9C4XlI/AAAAAAAAAfo/-joav-vQq58/s640/pork+loaf.jpg" width="640" /></a></div>My raw loaf. I actually forgot to put the worcestershire sauce into the mix so I just poured it on top. Who's gonna notice? I could have remixed it, but as I've mentioned before, I'm LAZY.<br />
<br />
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="http://2.bp.blogspot.com/-HVZ0LtG89lU/TjPM8gfZVsI/AAAAAAAAAfk/ySVf3TjrB-I/s1600/pork+loaf+cooked.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="480" src="http://2.bp.blogspot.com/-HVZ0LtG89lU/TjPM8gfZVsI/AAAAAAAAAfk/ySVf3TjrB-I/s640/pork+loaf+cooked.jpg" width="640" /></a></div>Sadly, all the sauce did was color the water I put at the bottom so the loaf wouldn't burn. And wouldn't you know it, the loaf burned anyway. Do as I say, not as I do. This actually wasn't done out of laziness for once; I was told it's not a good idea to check on your food that often. Every time you open the oven door, the temp inside decreases by 25°. This would be especially annoying while baking. While that may be true, some checking is required, or you can end up having to soak your baking dish. All I'm saying is, learn from my dumb ass.<br />
<br />
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="http://4.bp.blogspot.com/-B6osEx0zyjw/TjPNA-CfWII/AAAAAAAAAfs/euE0WHdVjOs/s1600/goddess+dressing.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="626" src="http://4.bp.blogspot.com/-B6osEx0zyjw/TjPNA-CfWII/AAAAAAAAAfs/euE0WHdVjOs/s640/goddess+dressing.jpg" width="640" /></a></div> Another thing I got at Trader Joe's which went absolutely amazing with this dish... Goddess dressing! No really, it's like... soy and tahini sauce, and a bunch of other stuff and it's just freakin' delicious! Seriously, I used to look at people who shopped at Trader Joes and think they were a bunch of pretetious hipsters, but now I guess I'm one of them. *Le gasp!* This freakin' dressing makes it all worth it!!Ficticious Malicioushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10098357443416037810noreply@blogger.com3tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7878935765993321005.post-3900441464928365322011-07-30T01:18:00.000-07:002011-07-30T01:18:36.604-07:00Baked Flounder in Lemon Soy Vinaigrette<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="http://www.packworld.com/thumbsLarge/issues/01.03/images/Features/pathmark1a.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="http://www.packworld.com/thumbsLarge/issues/01.03/images/Features/pathmark1a.jpg" /></a></div>Imagine my surprise [read: shock and horror] when my local supermarket didn't have fish fillets in saran-wrapped trays anymore, only these prepackaged, vaccum-sealed things. WTF?? I really wanted fish, and it was only $1.50, so I tried it, and the neat little recipe on the back. All told they weren't bad, but they smelled ultra-fishy and they were ridiculously small. Plus, I don't take too well to change. I'm just weird like that. Although the hippy in me is happy they aren't using styrofoam anymore.<br />
<br />
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="http://1.bp.blogspot.com/-9DPvXQeFt1I/TjO9o1ZwF5I/AAAAAAAAAfU/iAyoW6NJVTA/s1600/vinaigrette+flounder.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="480" src="http://1.bp.blogspot.com/-9DPvXQeFt1I/TjO9o1ZwF5I/AAAAAAAAAfU/iAyoW6NJVTA/s640/vinaigrette+flounder.jpg" width="640" /></a></div><br />
<b>Ingredients:</b><br />
4 flounder fillets. Doesn't have to be prepackaged, just any fillets.<br />
2 garlic cloves, diced (or 1 1/2 tsp of pre-minced garlic out of a jar. I'm lazy!) <br />
1/4 cup lemon juice <br />
1/4 cup soy sauce (I used sushi & sashimi sauce which is really, really good) <br />
1 tsp sugar <br />
1/4 tsp salt <br />
1/4 cup olive oil <br />
Optional: thinly sliced lemon for garnish. I'm telling you that unless you're entertaining, it's not that serious.<br />
<br />
<b>Method:</b><br />
Preheat the oven to 450° F. That may sound like a lot for fish, I thought so too. But it's okay, just do it.<br />
Arrange the fillets in a ceramic or glass dish (they were specific about this for some reason) just large enough to hold them in a single layer. Frankly, I only have one pyrex dish and it's ginormous. They're lucky I didn't pop these little fuckers on a piece of tin foil and call it a day.<br />
<br />
In a small bowl, combine the garlic, lemon juice, soy sauce sugar and salt and whisk in the oil until emulsified. I don't know what that means so I just stirred everything together. I figured what's the difference? <a href="http://www.foodnetwork.com/how-to/how-to-emulsify-liquids/index.html">But then I found this</a>- Oops. lol<br />
<br />
Well, once you have your unstable emulsion, pour it evenly over the fillets and bake on the center rack of the oven until just cooked through, and no longer translucent, about 4-6 minutes.<br />
<br />
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="http://1.bp.blogspot.com/-gNO9X4cQNgY/TjO-U8CD0eI/AAAAAAAAAfY/HPHtv5KEkqU/s1600/vinaigrette+flounder+dill.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="480" src="http://1.bp.blogspot.com/-gNO9X4cQNgY/TjO-U8CD0eI/AAAAAAAAAfY/HPHtv5KEkqU/s640/vinaigrette+flounder+dill.jpg" width="640" /></a></div><br />
To be quite honest here, this was okay. Not fantastic, not terrible. It needed a little something. Maybe mustard, maybe an herb... so I added some fresh dill to the cooked fish and that made it better. My suggestion to you is add a bit of mustard into the vinaigrette to begin with. It may add some dimension which this recipe was severely lacking. Ah well, you live and you learn.Ficticious Malicioushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10098357443416037810noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7878935765993321005.post-67106010930709253142011-07-30T00:59:00.000-07:002011-07-30T01:07:42.034-07:00Eating Condiments for Dinner<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;"></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;"></div><a href="http://1.bp.blogspot.com/-OAs5JcuDu2E/TjO5niMWFnI/AAAAAAAAAfQ/DWVO6VjS4y0/s1600/fishstew.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="480" src="http://1.bp.blogspot.com/-OAs5JcuDu2E/TjO5niMWFnI/AAAAAAAAAfQ/DWVO6VjS4y0/s640/fishstew.jpg" width="640" /> </a><br />
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;"><br />
</div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;">So that up there, I guess you'd call that fish porraige, congee or gruel. It's some weird crap I whipped up using a bass fillet and a can of cream of mushroom soup. It's a twisted, freakish abomination and I have no excuses, but at least it tasted good. It wasn't technically an entire meal,<em> per se</em>, more like something that goes on top of something else, maybe something mealy or starchy, or even fluffy. I ate it plain cos I was starving. You don't have to. Here's the recipe in case you care.</div><div align="left" class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;"><br />
</div><div align="left" class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;"><b>Ingredients</b></div>1 Large Bass Fillet <br />
1 Can of Campbell's Cream of Mushroom Soup with roasted garlic <br />
1 Tbsp butter or margarine <br />
1 tsp milk or Skim <br />
lemon juice <br />
white wine <br />
red bell peppers, diced <br />
onion or shallots, diced <br />
smoked paprika <br />
parsley <br />
dill <br />
black pepper <br />
Optional: capers<br />
<br />
<b>Method </b><br />
Melt the butter in a large saucepan over medium heat until it coats the pan. Put in the onions (or shallots) and bell pepper. Saute' until slightly caramelized, about 5 minutes. Put the fillet in and cook until side is done, about 5-7 minutes, then flip over.<br />
Pour in the lemon juice, white wine, herbs and spices. I really have no idea how much I used. Just keep tasting until you like it.<br />
When the fish begins flaking, use your spatula to chop it up into small pieces. Add the capers now if you have them and feel like it.<br />
When it's all pretty much done (and you'll be able to see it) scoop contents of cream of mushroom soup out into the pan, mixing everything together. Thin it out with a little bit of milk. Let it heat through another 2-3 minutes until hot, but not too long 'cos this stuff tends to burn.<br />
<br />
Serve over something. What kind of something? I dunno, am I supposed to tell you everything?<br />
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><br />
</div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><br />
</div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><br />
</div>Ficticious Malicioushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10098357443416037810noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7878935765993321005.post-69866057854296167202011-07-16T22:14:00.000-07:002011-07-16T23:03:27.989-07:00The Easiest Dish Evar.Okay, it's back to business for me. Now that I actually have an audience, I must perform, so I'm going to start out small because this is the shit I'm making for myself these days. And only because the lean cuisines are starting to get expensive.<br />
<br />
Fucking capitalism.<br />
<br />
So here we have quite literally a two-ingredient main dish. It's really cheap and so easy to make, you can pull this off if you've never cooked before in your life. I'm dead serious. Check this out:<br />
<br />
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="http://3.bp.blogspot.com/-huZeJYj4zls/TiJvL6qYqhI/AAAAAAAAAfI/Zq3wDUV_G_k/s1600/easiestdishevar.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="476" src="http://3.bp.blogspot.com/-huZeJYj4zls/TiJvL6qYqhI/AAAAAAAAAfI/Zq3wDUV_G_k/s640/easiestdishevar.jpg" width="640" /></a></div><br />
What are you looking at? Something my ex's mom used to make that I've been craving. It's pork and sauerkraut, the end. No really, you take some pork chops, dump an 8 ounce can of sauerkraut on top of it and bake it for 40 minutes at 350 F. Serve with instant mash and you have a traditional German dinner. Of course she used to slow cook a whole pork roast in the kraut for hours, and I suppose if you slow cooked this in a crock pot instead of baking it, it would come out fantastic, but this is good too, in a pinch. Just remember to pour a bit of water in the bottom of the pan so your pork doesn't burn.<br />
<br />
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="http://4.bp.blogspot.com/-bPI2AT39SG4/TiJw5IJQyEI/AAAAAAAAAfM/wiQOy7KlREE/s1600/Easiestdishhowueatit.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="452" src="http://4.bp.blogspot.com/-bPI2AT39SG4/TiJw5IJQyEI/AAAAAAAAAfM/wiQOy7KlREE/s640/Easiestdishhowueatit.jpg" width="640" /></a></div><br />
<br />
The most important thing about this dish is how you eat it. You have to try a little bit of everything on your fork at once, just for the sake of the different tastes in your mouth. I could cite poetry about a virtual symphony to your taste buds, but it would mean nothing unless you actually tasted it for yourself. Sometimes, it's not all about the why, it's the how. There is no excuse not to try this recipe, really. You probably already have the makings of mashed potatoes in your house. These pork chops cost me under $3 and the small can of sauerkraut was 39<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: arial, sans-serif; line-height: 15px;">¢</span>. It made three whole meals for me!! You need to try this, okay? Just do it.Ficticious Malicioushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10098357443416037810noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7878935765993321005.post-65644518104626970812011-07-14T21:43:00.000-07:002011-07-14T21:43:38.558-07:00Aw, crap.I forgot to take pictures at the Pow-wow because my friend showed up massively late and we didn't have time to eat or see all the tents before they closed up. It was the last day too. Ah well, maybe next year. Besides, I'm changing my diet around to eat healthier so grease-laden frybread just isn't a good idea for me right now. But I have been cooking a little bit, even though it's a thousand degrees in my shitty attic apartment. But a dude's gotta eat and I'm trying to save up money to move. The biggest obstacle is remembering to take pics when I do cook. When I get better at this, you'll be the first to know.Ficticious Malicioushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10098357443416037810noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7878935765993321005.post-61511331262039094922011-05-21T00:51:00.000-07:002011-05-21T01:02:22.925-07:00Holy Shit, I Have Followers??Seriously? Crap, now I <b>have</b> to do more cooking. I live alone now because Tammy is FINALLY gone and since I hate cooking for myself I simply haven't... but that's no excuse. I'll get my ass back into the kitchen and whip up something more elaborate than ramen noodles and newman's own cereal sometime during my upcoming vacation in early june. I recently got a bread machine in order to strengthen one of my major culinary weak points. I plan on doing <a href="http://allrecipes.com/Recipe/Bread-Machine-Challah-II/Detail.aspx">this challah recipe</a> very soon for the birthday of a new...errmmm, friend? Yeah, it kinda is what you think, and he'll be joining me on a trip to Gateway To The Nations Pow-Wow in two weeks, which is somewhere I haven't been in years. Oh, the music! Oh, the dancing! And of course-- Oh, the FOOD! You know I'll be doing a blog on those amazing caribou burgers, Navajo Tacos, alligator meat and marinated venison steaks. This is gonna kick so much ass. Stay tuned!!<br />
<br />
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="http://3.bp.blogspot.com/_WNL0yk7TZ1Y/TAckQqRnjaI/AAAAAAAADIw/K15Mo9qqR_Q/s1600/Picture+280.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="265" src="http://3.bp.blogspot.com/_WNL0yk7TZ1Y/TAckQqRnjaI/AAAAAAAADIw/K15Mo9qqR_Q/s400/Picture+280.jpg" width="400" /></a></div>Ficticious Malicioushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10098357443416037810noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7878935765993321005.post-66590459458212469922011-04-21T23:37:00.001-07:002011-04-21T23:37:34.795-07:00Cooking With Cadbury Eggs<span style="font-size: medium;"><img border="0" height="550" src="http://www.motifake.com/image/demotivational-poster/0904/deep-fried-cadbury-creme-egg-candy-demotivational-poster-1239564266.jpg" width="640" /></span><br />
<span style="font-size: medium;">Just 1 cadbury egg alone provides 800% of your daily fat and calories... so let's see how far we can push the boundaries of decadence. What you know about Easter, bitch?? I'm about to blow this shit up, fat motha fucka style, yo.</span><br />
<br />
<br />
<span style="font-size: medium;"><b>Deep Fried Cadbury Caramel Egg</b></span><br />
<span style="font-size: medium;">6-8 Cadbury Caramel Eggs (frozen) </span><br />
<span style="font-size: medium;">1 egg </span><br />
<span style="font-size: medium;">2/3 cup milk </span><br />
<span style="font-size: medium;">2 TBSP dark brown sugar </span><br />
<span style="font-size: medium;">1 TBSP Lyle’s Golden Syrup </span><br />
<span style="font-size: medium;">1 ¼ cup flour </span><br />
<span style="font-size: medium;">¼ tsp salt </span><br />
<span style="font-size: medium;">1 tsp baking powder</span><br />
<br />
<span style="font-size: medium;">In a deep skillet, heat about four cups of oil over medium-high heat until hot. </span><br />
<br />
<br />
<span style="font-size: medium;">Test the temperature by dropping a pinch of flour into the hot oil. If it sizzles right away without smoking, it’s perfect. </span><br />
<br />
<br />
<span style="font-size: medium;">Beat egg and milk. Mix all other ingredients in a separate bowl and slowly add to the egg mixture, beating until smooth. </span><br />
<br />
<br />
<span style="font-size: medium;">Dip frozen Caramel Eggs into batter. </span><br />
<br />
<br />
<span style="font-size: medium;">Fry for about 2-3 minutes, remove from the oil when golden brown and crispy and place on paper towel to get excess oil. </span><br />
<br />
<br />
<span style="font-size: medium;">Sprinkle with powdered sugar and serve.</span><br />
<br />
<span style="font-size: medium;">______________________________________________</span><br />
<br />
<span style="font-size: medium;"><img border="0" height="300" src="http://recipe.dailyunadventuresincooking.com/wp-content/uploads/2011/03/Cadbury-Cream-Egg-Cupcakes-16.jpg" width="450" /></span><br />
<span style="font-size: medium;"><b>Cadbury Creme Egg Cupcake</b></span><br />
<br />
<span style="font-size: medium;">1/4 cup butter, softened</span><br />
<span style="font-size: medium;">1/2 cup golden corn syrup</span><br />
<span style="font-size: medium;">3 cups icing sugar</span><br />
<span style="font-size: medium;">1 teaspoon vanilla</span><br />
<span style="font-size: medium;">yellow food colouring (optional)</span><br />
<span style="font-size: medium;">1/2 cup butter, softened</span><br />
<span style="font-size: medium;">1/2 cup sugar </span><br />
<span style="font-size: medium;">2 eggs, separated</span><br />
<span style="font-size: medium;">1/2 teaspoon vanilla </span><br />
<span style="font-size: medium;">3 ounces unsweetened chocolate, roughly chopped </span><br />
<span style="font-size: medium;">2 cups flour</span><br />
<span style="font-size: medium;">2 teaspoons baking powder</span><br />
<span style="font-size: medium;">½ teaspoon baking soda</span><br />
<span style="font-size: medium;">½ teaspoon salt</span><br />
<span style="font-size: medium;">1 ¼ cups milk</span><br />
<span style="font-size: medium;">1/2 cup chocolate chips</span><br />
<span style="font-size: medium;">1/4 cup butter, softened</span><br />
<br />
<br />
<span style="font-size: medium;">First you will want to prep the "creme egg" filling. Beat 1/4 cup of the soft butter until fluffy. Add syrup, icing sugar and 1 teaspoon vanilla and beat until well combined. If desired, stir in some yellow food colouring until a pale yellow. Reserve in fridge and let set up.</span><br />
<br />
<span style="font-size: medium;">Turn oven on to 350F. Grease a muffin tin and line with paper cups. In a double boiler melt the unsweetened chocolate, stirring regularly. You can start mixing the cupcake batter while it melts and then turn the double boiler off when the chocolate is melted. These cupcakes are easiest in a mixer, but can be done with a hand mixer or even an able pair of hands. Beat butter until light and fluffy and add in sugar until well combined. Separate the egg whites into a large bowl and beat the egg yolks into the sugar one at a time. Slowly add in melted chocolate and vanilla.</span><br />
<br />
<span style="font-size: medium;">In a separate bowl whisk together the flour, baking powder, baking soda and salt. Alternately fold in dry ingredients and milk in a few batches. Don't over mix! Beat the egg whites to soft peaks and fold in.</span><br />
<br />
<span style="font-size: medium;">Divide the batter into the muffins cups. Remove the creme filling from the fridge and roll out 12 balls no bigger than a centimeter in diameter. In the centre of each cupcake press in a ball of filling as deep as possible. Sprinkle with chocolate chips. Bake for 35 minutes.</span><br />
<br />
<span style="font-size: medium;">Transfer cupcakes to a rack and let cool.</span><br />
<br />
<span style="font-size: medium;">In the meantime combine the last 1/4 cup of butter with the remaining creme filling and beat until uniform. Transfer to a piping bag. The cupcakes should have little holes in the middle. Put your icing into a piping bag and pipe a dollop into the centre of each cupcake. Amazing when eaten just a little bit warm, of course then you risk the icing melting, but it really isn't that bad now is it?</span><br />
<br />
<span style="font-size: medium;">Yields 12 cupcakes. </span><br />
<span style="font-size: medium;">This recipe actually came with a warning: <i>Sweet mother of all things that are merciful on this planet, make these cupcakes at your own peril. Your teeth will hurt, your entire kitchen will be sticky, and you will need to buy new jeans</i>. Is this supposed to deter me? </span><br />
<br />
<span style="font-size: medium;">_____________________________________________________________________</span><br />
<br />
<span style="font-size: medium;"><img border="0" height="600" src="http://everyfoodfits.com/wp-content/uploads/2011/03/Cadbury-Creme-Egg-Cookie.jpg" width="399" /></span><br />
<span style="font-size: medium;"><b>Cadbury Egg Cookies</b> </span><br />
<br />
<span style="font-size: medium;">1/2 c. butter, softened</span><br />
<span style="font-size: medium;">1 1/2 c. shortening</span><br />
<span style="font-size: medium;">2 c. sugar</span><br />
<span style="font-size: medium;">1 c. brown sugar</span><br />
<span style="font-size: medium;">4 eggs</span><br />
<span style="font-size: medium;">2 tsp vanilla</span><br />
<span style="font-size: medium;">2 tsp salt</span><br />
<span style="font-size: medium;">2 tsp baking soda</span><br />
<span style="font-size: medium;">5 c. flour</span><br />
<span style="font-size: medium;">1 lg bag of Cadbury Eggs, crushed.</span><br />
<br />
<span style="font-size: medium;">Mix butter and shortening together until light and fluffy, and then add your sugars, mixing until light and fluffy. Add eggs and vanilla. Mix well and then add dry ingredients. Mix well. Stir in Cadbury eggs reserving some to sprinkle on the tops of the cookies. Bake at 375 for 10-12 minutes. If they look a little doughy still, let them cool and they will be perfect.</span><br />
<br />
<span style="font-size: medium;">_________________________________________________________</span><br />
<br />
<span style="font-size: medium;">And if you can't find these little suckers anywhere, the internets has brought you a way to make your own. Oh joy!!</span><br />
<br />
<span style="font-size: medium;"><img border="0" height="306" src="http://3.bp.blogspot.com/-WGC_HYmzQUw/TWwwf4hdSLI/AAAAAAAABFc/hCXDA1iH9Ew/s400/Homemade-Cadbury-Creme-Eggs.jpg" width="400" /> </span><br />
<span style="font-size: medium;">Ingredients:</span><br />
<span style="font-size: medium;">170g (1/2 cup) light corn syrup (or golden syrup if you're across the pond)<br />
58g (1/4 cup) butter, room temperature<br />
375g (3 cups) confectioner's powdered sugar (icing sugar)<br />
1 teaspoon vanilla<br />
1/4 teaspoon salt<br />
yellow food coloring<br />
1 (12 ounce) bag milk chocolate chips</span><br />
<br />
<span style="font-size: medium;">To make actual hollow eggs with the filling inside, you'll need to acquire some egg molds. Alternatively, you can form the filling and dip it in the chocolate. If you choose the dipping method, you may consider adding 2 teaspoons of non-hydrogenated vegetable shortening to the chocolate to thin it and make it easier for dipping. </span><br />
<br />
<span style="font-size: medium;">Try making them on a stick too, it's awesome! Ah, sometimes being a fatass is so much fun.</span><br />
<br />
<br />
<span style="font-size: medium;"><img border="0" height="408" src="http://2.bp.blogspot.com/_lCvyIapbxFQ/S7WJe2x_NqI/AAAAAAAAAEA/zWcIfM9eSUo/s1600/lion+bunny2.jpg" width="490" /> </span><br />
<span style="font-size: medium;"><span style="font-size: x-large;"> BOK!!</span> Happy Easter, everyone!</span>Ficticious Malicioushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10098357443416037810noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7878935765993321005.post-2140249541486182772011-02-13T04:12:00.000-08:002011-02-13T04:14:09.125-08:00Sassy's Rice Krispies Bars!<span style="font-size: small;">As promised, I finally made sassy's award-winning recipe for my nephew's 6th birthday party, and they were delicious! Check this out.</span><br />
<br />
<span style="font-size: small;"><img border="0" src="http://i4.photobucket.com/albums/y130/callous_malice/rkbarssugar.jpg" /> </span><br />
<br />
<span style="font-size: small;">First you add 1 cup of granulated sugar and 1 cup of corn syrup to a pot and boil. As you know, I've been on a diet this past month and so for me to work with this much sugar and corn syrup was a bit gross at first. But I've learned that working with corn syrup is really easy. It helps melt sugar quick, doesn't burn and even after it solidifies, heating it up again makes it just as easy to scoop up as before. But gods help you once it gets into the sink, you need to soak that shit right away or you're fucked.</span><br />
<br />
<br />
<span style="font-size: small;"><img border="0" src="http://i4.photobucket.com/albums/y130/callous_malice/rkbarslayer.jpg" /></span><br />
<br />
<span style="font-size: small;">After the cup of peanut butter was added and blended (I used smart balance, it's all I had) you add a full 6 cups of rice krispies to the mixture. I found that 6 cups was a bit too much, actually. I needed to heat up an extra 1/4th cup of the syrup, sugar and peanut butter just to get it all coated. By then it was really difficult to work with and clumped. A lot. I eventually got it into the block-like shape I wanted.</span><br />
<br />
<span style="font-size: small;"><img border="0" src="http://i4.photobucket.com/albums/y130/callous_malice/rkbarschocolate.jpg" /></span><br />
<br />
<span style="font-size: small;">Now that the block was made, I melted the chocolate and butterscotch chips. The recipe calls for a bag of each but I only used 1/2 bag of each and it coated the whole thing pretty well. I just didn't like the consistency of the chocolate when it melted so I added a drop of almond milk. Still didn't come out creamy enough so I added a few pats of unsalted butter. Even then it didn't look right but I decided to spread it anyway. It had the consistency of peanut butter, so weird. Not sure what I did wrong, I put a pot of boiling water under the mixing bowl and allowed it to melt slowly while stirring. I stretched it out over the whole thing, but it wasn't a thick layer. Why should it be anyway? Too much chocolate would take away from the rice krispies base, after all.</span><br />
<br />
<span style="font-size: small;"><img border="0" src="http://i4.photobucket.com/albums/y130/callous_malice/rkbarsdone.jpg" /> </span><br />
<span style="font-size: small;">The final product was badass. When I cut it up for the baking tin (easier transport) a piece crumbled and so Tammy and I shared it. I think my piece was barely 1" x 1". But it was enough to taste the badassery. This was absolutely delicious. My only regret is forgetting to take a good pic of a single bar for display purposes. But I did get a few pics of the reactions to these bad boys.</span><br />
<br />
<span style="font-size: small;"><img border="0" src="http://i4.photobucket.com/albums/y130/callous_malice/rkbarsthumbsup.jpg" /></span><br />
<span style="font-size: small;">These went over very, very well at the party, with the kids and adults alike. The kids were too busy running around to pose for pics, but they snubbed the regular food in favor of these- it made the parents furious. Sassy, you get two thumbs up!!</span><br />
<br />
<span style="font-size: small;"><img border="0" src="http://i4.photobucket.com/albums/y130/callous_malice/rkbarsdadthumbsup.jpg" /></span><br />
<span style="font-size: small;">The best part of these things is that they're gluten-free, so even my father can enjoy them! There's your second thumbs up, my dear. An all-around hit! Thanks so much for posting and I will have to make these again someday. </span><br />
<br />
<span style="font-size: small;">And yes. *Sigh* That is Spongebob in the background. It was the theme of the party and Marcus' grandmother had the pleasure of dressing up and getting mauled by all the excited children hopped up on all that sugar. lol</span><br />
<br />
<span style="font-size: small;"><img border="0" src="http://i4.photobucket.com/albums/y130/callous_malice/Marcusbestday.jpg" /></span><br />
<br />
<span style="font-size: small;">Ingredients:<br />
1 cup light corn syrup<br />
1 cup sugar<br />
1 cup peanut butter<br />
6 cups Rice Krispies® <br />
or 6 cups Cocoa Rice Krispies®<br />
1 package (6 oz., 1 cup) semi-sweet chocolate morsels<br />
1 cup butterscotch chips<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
Directions: <br />
<br />
1. Place corn syrup and sugar into 3-quart saucepan. Cook over medium heat, stirring frequently, until sugar dissolves and mixture begins to boil. <br />
2. Remove from heat. Stir in peanut butter. Mix well. <br />
3. Add KELLOGG’S RICE KRISPIES cereal. Stir until well coated. <br />
4. Press mixture into 13 x 9 x 2” pan coated with cooking spray. Set aside.<br />
5. Melt chocolate and butterscotch chips together in 1-quart saucepan over low heat, stirring constantly. Spread evenly over cereal mixture. <br />
6. Let stand until firm. Cut into 2 x 1” bars when cool.<br />
Note:<br />
Before measuring the corn syrup, coat your measuring cup with cooking spray—the syrup will pour easily out of the cup.</span><br />
<span style="font-size: small;"><br />
</span><br />
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="http://i4.photobucket.com/albums/y130/callous_malice/marcuskeeyoot.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="240" src="http://i4.photobucket.com/albums/y130/callous_malice/marcuskeeyoot.jpg" width="320" /></a></div><span style="font-size: small;"><br />
</span>Ficticious Malicioushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10098357443416037810noreply@blogger.com0